that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

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cheering on

Is it time for an update? It’s time at least to say hi. I am so indebted to my bed — I owe it at least 12 straight hours of quality time but school is owning those precious moments right now. I am exhausted. After getting home from practicum, I have been going to school for the month of June in a ‘summer institute’ designed to get me enough course credit to be eligible for my B.Ed. Since I couldn’t imagine coming this far and not getting the degree, I had a few days off when I was finished teaching before coming back to Victoria and back to university. It’s been a short month filled with a ton of stretching mentally and it’s been draining physically but it was worth it. It’s been fantastic, it’s over Thursday, and now I need a job. Any suggestions?

June has been fun — it’s my first on the island and I am grateful for it. The month started with my favourite friend’s birthday which seemed to begin his constant reminders to me of my own pending 1/4 century day in a few short weeks. Eep. Then a lot of our family arrived in Victoria for my cousin’s wedding. The weekend was packed with lifetime style memories, especially having Mom, Jay, and Nath in town and getting spend the pre-wedding day with Megan and Steve. I love weddings. And I loved being able to celebrate Josh, someone we see far too little of. It was a fun and special day and we were blessed to be a part of it!

The last few Saturdays have been spent up on the Sooke river where fish are finally biting and the sun is shining (rather than the rainy and crazy fishing trips I’ve been on)… there is nothing better than sitting by the river with one of the books I’ve been putting off reading. It’s such a joy and if I could live out on the Sooke river for almost-ever, I would.

In other news, Dad blessed me the other day with a special Father’s Day invitation for Luke and I to come and see the Empire Stadium…the temporary sports field he built for the BC Lions. Huge treat! We took the ferry over yesterday morning and spent the afternoon watching football and visiting with Dad and Nate. It was so incredibly cool to get to see Dad honoured for his work, not only over the loudspeaker in front of 22,000 people but to see the reception he got from all of the tradesmen and employees of his that were sitting in our section. He’s a BIG deal… but incredibly, genuinely humble and while the Lions lost to the Eskimos in the last 4 seconds and with L being really sick, it still was a perfectly fun and special day, especially because it was Father’s Day! Only thing to make it better? If they were playing the Riders! Oh well, we’re hoping to go back on July 10 for THAT game… 🙂 So so cool! 🙂

Finally, if you think of it or think of me, I’m going to start pursuing my writing dream. After my practicum I was overwhelmed by this sensation of a dream come true. It’s a bit intoxicating, having something that I’ve prayed for and thought of forever finally be realized and tangible, but it also has begged many questions about “what next”. So I’ve started thinking and writing and wondering how to pursue this other dream. I have some ideas on how to go about it but for the most part, it’s a crapshoot. I’m afraid of failing, obviously, but not enough to not want to try. So that’s where I am at — starting to dream another dream. Do you think that is asking a bit much?

Before this turns into an exhausting ramble, I just wanted to say hi. And spend some time with you. And think about how blessed I am. So that’s about it. Here’s some pictures, in no such order. Be blessed. And be rested enough for me? 🙂

(Click on images for larger, gallery-style viewing)


[unsolicited] ramblings

Oh for the love of dark roast coffee, my practicum starts in 2 months and 12 days…eep. Aside from being utterly and totally unprepared, I am scared out of my dirty blond crowned mind. Why am I doing this? In fact, I’ve started having teacher anxiety dreams. I won’t go into detail but sometimes they involve me losing lesson plans while other times they involve my skirt tucked up in my panty hose (kinda like HERE). I don’t know what else to say about that… but I am freakin’ out [on the inside].

Speaking of school, this semester has been positively and completely draining. Part of our course load this term involves a class on Indigenous Peoples [in the classroom] and another on Disabled and Exceptional Students. Both of these classes are stretching me, challenging my biases, questioning my professional validity, and again, scaring me to know end as I wonder how to best serve those categorized students in my classroom. I guess not every student will come from a wasp-esque, middle class, Caucasian, able-bodied situation where they are both enthusiastic and excited to learn… right? No, I did not actually believe that going into my education, but these two specific courses are really, really pushing me. They are also making my bed look oh-so-appealing come 5:00 pm. Plus, we attend school in a cohort. That means for all six classes I am with the exact same people for every single one. Cabin fever much? We’re so connected that I can predict what is going to come out of certain people’s mouths before they even raise their hands. It’s hard to not get frustrated but seriously, the course load is so heavy, it’s exhausting. Plus, with all this work and emo feelings-discussions all the time, how will I ever prepare for my…eep…practicum?

2010 Olympics — did I mention my Dad is kickin’ it with the rockstars that run the show out there? Post-completion of the renos at Canada Place, Dad has been hired by Vanoc to do a whole bunch of maintenance-esque jobs around “town” for the Olympics. He’s rubbing shoulders with so many big-wigs that he was given 2 tickets to see the dress rehearsal to the Opening Ceremonies! I’ve stopped taking his calls until he can make some Team Canada hockey, curling, or figure skating tickets appear to me from thin air. Or bobsledding ones so I can channel my inner ‘Cool Runnings’ style dreams. I am kidding, but it is pretty cool to have my Dad so close to everything down there.

2010 Iron Chef — it’s happening all over again next week so stay tuned for some details, updates, and play-by-play action of the event… we’re considering streaming on the internet live for the whole thing. Grab your popcorn. Also, we’re still looking for judges for this year’s competition since the three from last year have all either moved away or been voted out of the ‘stadium’ because of their biased ignorance to our team being the very best. We will not allow judging that will rule against us. Period.

Also, I am considering a May 2010 trip out to Alberta post-practicum. Anyone think that would be fun should speak up so I know to take this seriously or not. Read: Weston, Auntie is coming! 🙂

Finally, for those of you inquiring minds wanting to know — dolphins are my spirit animal. Here’s why:

“The Dolphin – Symbol of Breath of Life, Love, Balance and Community
Dolphins Wisdom Includes – Knowledge of the sea, change, patron of
sailors, harmony, wisdom, balance, Communication skills, freedom, trust,
understanding the power of rhythm in your life, use of breath to release
intense emotions, water element magic, unselfishness. Dolphin reminds us
to get out, play and most importantly, to breathe.

Dolphins are connected with the power of breath and with emotional
release, which are also both deeply connected. One of the most important
factors in spiritual growth is to give ourselves the freedom of full
experiencing our feelings and emotions. Often negative emotions are
suppressed as we don’t want to be a part of them, so we try to stay apart
from them. Feelings of sadness, pain, anger, grief. Dolphins teach us that
we need to feel our feelings.

(Doesn’t that sound like ME?! haha FEELINGS)

Dolphins spend most of their day playing. Their life is lived in joyful
harmony with each other and their world. Apparently they have learned the
lesson that love is the most important factor in life. If dolphin is your
power animal he may be there to teach you how to love yourself and your
world more. A big part of Dolphins medicine is living in balanced,
harmonious communities.

If Dolphin is your power animal, you may do well using your voice for
healing or communicating, in day to day life with those nearest and
dearest to you..”

As always, grace and peace.


i wish i was exaggerating pt. 2

In typical “bring Kate’s life” turn of events, my wallet has been returned to me withalmost everything in it. It was only missing my visa and cheque book and the loonie I keep in there for a rainy day when I think Americanos will finally cost less than a dollar.


I would just like to point out that when my car was stolen and then returned that this was the most annoying: why go through the adventure and heart attack factor of the theft and chase only to have it returned almost completely intact? I don’t get it?

Mom, Luke, my imaginary friend(s), and my coworkers seem to believe it so that I have stories to tell.

I like to believe that blessings in my life flow in abundance… even if they are as annoying as this, it’s still nice. And funny. And a nuisance. And a subject for a blog post.


Oh well.

Living vicariously through my own life is not giving me much clarity.


i wish i was exaggerating

My wallet got stolen on Wednesday — somebody broke into my car and took it.

Here’s why being Kate is such an adventure…it went something like this:

I finally cracked down and decided to fix Bella, my blue little fireball of a car. (This is the same car that was broken into and the stereo stolen and the same car that was stolen herself). I’ve known for quite sometime that the CV axel and bushings (whatever those are) at the front end needed to be replaced, this knowledge heightened when the problem wore out my tires and left me stranded in Williams Lake with two flats when I was travelling home from Smithers.

So on Monday I brought my car in and on Wednesday my coworker brought me to pick it up after work. I made a deal with myself that if it cost under $650, I would go to Staples and buy an external hard drive for my computer. The work cost me $640. 43 so to Staples I went. I had called ahead of time from work so all I had to do was go to the counter and pay.

I arrived at Staples at 4:58 pm. It was pouring rain so I just grabbed my debit card out of my wallet, shoved my wallet under my gym bag, and ran into the store. (Sidenote: I don’t need the ‘don’t leave anything in your car’ lecture — you’re not allowed, see previous thefts #1 and #2… this is the first time since that I’ve left anything in Bella). When I left the store, the manager was walking in and said “Do you own a Honda Civic?” and I yelled “WHAAAAAT” thinking the little expensive disaster just got stolen AGAIN. No.

“Somebody just shimmied the lock, stole something, and ran away!” – Manager

“I saw the whole thing!” – Some lady.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU YELL!!!!” – Hysteric me.

“Well, I DIDN’T KNOW!” – Said lady.

“I am sorry.” – Me. Still hysterical.


“OK. Have a nice afternoon, THANKS” – Me.

(Sidenote #2: Never try to drive a standard when you’re having a conniption. My leg was shaking so much I stalled three times.)

So what did I do? Why, what any classy, smart, level headed woman would… I went after him! I drove up by someone who fit the description and rolled down my window and said

“Can you please give me back my wallet?”

To which he responded

“I don’t have your wallet! Ha Ha Ha.” and he kept walking/running up to the crosswalk.

I am thinking This is SO NOT MY DAY. So I circled around through the Mohawk parking lot and saw that he was crossing the street into the mall parking lot. Where there is a CIBC. My bank. Oh NO he has my VISA. Oh ****! (I am not proud of this, but I was cussing in my head and probably outloud, the next few minutes are a bit of a blur). So I phoned my mom and said:

“MOM my WALLET WAS JUST STOLEN OUT OF MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“WHAT! Kate! WHAT! How?”

“Mom there’s no time, I need you to cancel my Visa RIGHT NOW.” (The stores were still open and he was heading to the mall!)

“Well, what are you doing?”

“I AM TRAILING THE GUY! I already asked him nicely now I am following him, we’re in the Cherry Lane Parking lot and I am in my car”


So what do I do? Obviously. I parked, kept my mom on the line, and ran after him. That’s right, it was all of my CSI dreams come true until I had a fleeting moment where I realized I didn’t know what to do if he pulled a gun on me. I’d deal with that later and kept running. When I caught him, he was angry and said “Look, I don’t have your wallet” and pulled out his own from his back pocket. So I asked if I could look in his bag. He threw it on the ground and let me. It was filled with pop cans and bottles. My heart broke, I apologized and said he fit the description and I didn’t mean to invade his space and to have a really nice afternoon.

Anyways, I am still convinced he had it but whatever.

I went home, and mom had cancelled my Visa. If you can believe it: I left Staples at 5:04 pm. Mom had my visa cancelled at 5:13 pm. The guy tried to charge something to it at 5:18 pm. So in the matter of 14 mins (more accurately, 19 minutes from the time I arrived at Staples), I bought a hard drive, my car was broken into, my wallet stolen, I chased down a criminal (twice), my mom dealt with my bank, and I failed miserably. That was the longest 14 minutes of my life. But look how FAST things like this happen.

So the rest of the hour I was on the phone with my bank because not only was my Visa in there but my cheque book so I had to cancel my bank accounts as well! Then, because my S.I.N. card was in there I had to call the Credit Bureau(s) to flag my credit in case of fraud, and talk to the RCMP… who, sidenote #3, strongly encouraged me to buy a different vehicle given my history with her in such a short period of time!

The nice B.I.D. (blessing in disguise) to this adventure is that an hour or so after my life was flashing before my eyes, a gal from a local pub phoned to tell me she found my license underneath her car. So mom and I went to pick it up and did some dumpster diving/scouring back there before I went and met the RCMP officer in the parking lot to talk about what happened.

I am getting so tired of talking to the RCMP.

And way too used to feeling violated.

Thus begins the painful, annoying, expensive process of replacing everything that was in there. For example, my birth certificate was in my wallet because I just recently got a passport and didn’t take it out yet. For the love of fruit smoothies, that is so annoying. Along with my BCAA, Visa, S.I.N., UVic Student ID, etc. etc. etc… I don’t have time for this heinous nuisance.

On the way home from our Crime Scene Investigating, my mom says

“Kate, I just have to laugh, I think this is how your life simply is…you need the adventure”

To which I responded

“Mom, are you kidding me? It’s not like I am asking for this or walk into these sorts of things on purpose!”

But Kate, it’s not like these sorts of things surprise you anymore, either.

Good point.

But get this, along with my license, the gal found my air miles card and Save on More card under her car. HOWEVER, when we were on our way home, I turned the Save On card over and burst out laughing… it wasn’t my card! SO, either it’s from another wallet  stole OR it’s the card of the thief’s

Ergo, the saga continues… maybe they’ll start letting me ride in the squad car.

I think this picture fits well here, yet again:

Picture 79

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easter sunday

After the 9 am service, we went up to Duncan to the Cowichan River for Team Hardcore’s Fishing Adventure, take 2. While the day began with pretty heavy rains, the weather picked up around 4:00 pm and we got sun for the rest of the evening. We went to three different spots. The first I got to sit on a fence and listen to my iPod while I could see Luke in the river (I couldn’t read because of the rain). I got soaked from head to toe but it was beautiful in its own right. After that, we sat in the car and ate some deliciousness and warmed up a bit before we checked out a different spot which required more bush whacking… I was totally prepared for it this time. I slipped once. Awesome. And finally, as the sun was peeking out, we went to this Bible camp where there was a trail, only one– fairly substantial — creek to jump over. It was at this spot where I made my fly fishing debut. Luke taught me how to cast properly, even though I couldn’t do it very well. I think I was trying a little too hard to cast it like windmill pitching a baseball. Oh well, I only hooked Luke’s jacket once. Total accident. That didn’t last very long because I knew he was just itching to get out there so I climbed onto a log and enjoyed the rest of the evening while he fished. A couple hours later, on our way back up the trail, I fell (with classless embarrassment) right down into the creek… to this moment, I don’t know exactly how it happened but I was drenched and Luke’s reaction, and continued reactions, made it worth it (Kater…Kater…talk to me Kater). Sort of.

Anyways, we made it out and finished the day with homemade pizza, chocolate milk, chocolate peanut butter cups, and Scrabble. Don’t tell him I told you, but I purposefully let him win.

Happy Easter. I hope you enjoyed yours as much as I enjoyed mine.







Look at that FORM

Look at that FORM



There were steelheads jumping right here... still no luck.

There were steelheads jumping right here... still no luck.

A perfect way to spend a day.

A perfect way to spend a day.

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what a steal

Meg, this is for you: I was in Kelowna today shopping with Mom and Jayme and naturally had to go into RW & Co. Not only did I find some awesome work shirts… but I found a JACKET for $19.95… originally $108.00!!! Can you believe it? It’s kind of like a trench coat (not really) but it’s black, goes to mid thigh, and super classy…and for $20!!

ALso, my cleanse is going great — I cheated once and ate a cookie at work. Not too stressful. But I feel fantabulous.


echoes, silence, patience and grace

“There’s a big
a big hard sun
beating on the big people
in the big hard world”

It’s kind of like the residue of heart-burn and stomach pains. Sometimes, it hurts bad enough to leave an echo of awfulness, then there is silence while I anticipate its return, in mock patience. And I’d like to think I handle it with grace given that I hardly every complain, even though it’s pretty consistent in my life.

That is so not the point.

I don’t really know much but I do know that things are still at a standstill. Is that okay? It’s not like I am an excitement junkie, but it sure feels like what I am craving when there is none. And I mean excitement as in something new. It’s interesting how wonderful home sounds when we’re not here. Doesn’t mean it isn’t wonderful, but I am desiring something a little less predictable. I joke with my friend about this, like God is just keeping me here in preparation for something really BIG that’s coming around the corner.

Well, I keep turning them and then there is nothing. Why is that? I mean, I wake up, go to work, go to the gym, come home, eat dinner, sometimes talk to someone on the phone, sometimes I write, most times I work outside, then I go to bed. My social life has picked up a bit this summer so far, which is fine, but that’s not what I mean.

I am just missing when my blood pressure raises higher and not because I am getting defensive or because my coworkers are being [insert explicative]. I want something to get excited about that is not my crush at work or Mom’s cooking. Don’t get me wrong, I am not sad or depressed or hyper sensitive, I am just…gasp…bored.

I want a curveball.
A dream come true.
Some seriously warm weather.
A visit from someone.
Good news.
A niece or nephew (just kidding).

Basically, I want it to be my turn for something ultra-fantastic-and-unexpected. Any chance you want to get on the bandwagon, support and pray for me? I don’t want a challenge necessarily, just something that rocks, that’s for me, and that pales the ever-present heartburn that I still haven’t seen a doctor for.

Echoes, silence, patience and grace. I need something other than that. I’ve gotten pretty good at the echoes, communed with the silence, tried my best to be patient, and accepted the grace.


Listen to me: HOME by the Foo Fighters:

Wish I were with you but I couldn’t stay
Every direction leads me away
Pray for tomorrow but for today
And all I want is to be home

Stand in the mirror you look the same
Just looking for shelter from the cold and the pain
Some want to cover, safe from the rain
And all I want is to be home

Echoes and silence, patience and grace,
All of these moments I’ll never replace
No fear of my heart, no absence of faith
And all I want is to be home

All I want is to be home

People I’ve loved, I have no regrets
Some I remember some I forget
Some of them living some of them dead
And all I want is to be home


Rider Pride

I legitimately was confused, yet respectful, of Mark’s love for the Sakatchewan Roughriders… but in support of my brother in law, I sat loyally through the entire Grey Cup final today and by the end of it, I was excitedly yelling with the best of fans… I came by it innocently, wanting to watch the game just as BC-moral support for Mark’s favourite team (and Mark himself) but I’ve decided that it really doesn’t matter whether I understand it or not, football is the BEST sport to watch EVER. Oh yeah… AND THE RIDERS WON!!!!!!!!! For the first time in HOW long? I don’t know, I will have to ask Mark. Actually, way to go Mark, I really believe that your dedication to this team helped them through. I am not going to pretend to be hardcore because I am not, but that was unreal! I didn’t even answer the phone during it!! I guess it only makes sense to keep it in the family so I may be considered a convert or betraying BC but like Jes said “forget BC” and ultimately, forget the Lions… because today (and NOT only in the truest “only because they won the Grey Cup” form) I am now a Riders fan. Yeaa…


do you think we grow out of it?

My roommate told me today she’s overly Christmas-spirited this year. I think it’s because she’s in love.

Griffin went to see the parade with Santa in it last Saturday with Auntie, Uncle, and Alicia. I wonder if it’s in part to start the season off and see Santa themselves…to see it through the eyes of a child?

Kyla mentioned that it is supposed to snow this weekend in Victoria and my heart swelled about three times the size. I think it’s because I was hoping it would.

I bought a box of Christmas cards. I think it’s because I want to spread the feeling.

Cardamon, Cinnamon, Cloves, and Cookie-Cutters. I think it’s because I decided to make gingerbread.

Do you think we grow out of it? That feeling that warms us up from out fingertips to our tippy toes? As I was driving to Scott and Kyla’s today, I had a phonecall from someone and what the person wanted was my commitment for something. I had to look at my watch for today’s date and I was floored that it’s already November 23. Maybe it’s because it flew by so fast that I was shocked, but more so… there’s no snow on the ground, I haven’t worn my mitts and toque for any other reason than they look cute, and I have yet to have my oh-so-favourite feeling of icicles on my eyelashes and a cold red nose. I anticipate this time just as much as I have every year, but that feeling has been twisted into a feeling I don’t actually recognize: How do I get in the Christmas spirit, and the winter that I love so much, when I can still walk outside in shorts and a shirt and wave to the neighbour boy that’s doing the same?

I wouldn’t. But my friend Suzanne does. And I think it’s weird.

To combat the weirdly unexpected missing of winter to trigger that oh-so-loving-feeling of Christmas, I actually went to Wal-Mart and walked over to the seasonal section and just looked. As I fingered the intricate, yet inexpensive, ornaments and bulbs, my heart started racing and Boney M came through the loud speaker singing “Little Drummer Boy”…

Insignificant? Hardly. For as long as I can remember, us kids have stirred Christmas morning to the record of Boney M’s Christmas and if I am not mistaken (my dear sisters, correct me if not true) I always happen to be alerted as the words “Come…they told me.. pa rum pa pum pum…” softly drifted into our bedroom. I think that, aided by the fact that Scott and Kyla have their beautiful Christmas tree erected and decorated, reminded me that Christmas…and that feeling…doesn’t need the snow or a frostbitten nose…or snow drifts cascading across the house’s side.

So I made gingerbread tonight… I can’t for the life of me spell the Swiss term for it… and that, accompanied by my in-love-Christmas-spirited roommate, and the gentle anticipation of snow potentially this weekend reminded me of something pretty great:

I happen to love you all. It’s not a huge revelation, it’s just unbelievably true. I don’t know if people read this that I don’t know, but if you do, I hope my words have been able to reach you in some way through reading this. It’s a powerful thing, blogging, I wonder if anybody believes in the intensity of it.

I know it’s early, and some of you may not have nestled down and thought about what is on the horizon pending this upcoming month, but I sincerely wish you Jesus’ peace in the coming little while. I truly believe that this peace is real, and needed, all the time… but all too often, we get sidetracked by the consumerism and the wanting snow and expectations for everything to turn out just right. Heck, look at me. I let papers, old friends, reading, dishes, the gym, coffee, showering… everything that makes my existence allow so many moments that I miss or forget or ignore.

The funny thing is, no matter what city I am in, no matter how it’s packaged or who delivers it or how quickly it seems to come, the spirit is always there…

Maybe simply to reconnect with who we are. And what’s important.

Maybe to get that lighthearted feeling… a reminiscent one that makes it ok that my nose can’t be cold and I can’t go skating on outdoor rinks…but it’s enough to have those memories.

Maybe… it’s a real time to reconnect with Jesus. I mean really, we all feel pretty devastated when someone disregards our own birthdays.

No…I don’t think we grow out of it, we just get better at wanting it.

And wanting it for the right reasons.

And wanting it because it makes us feel safe, warm, and alive right from the tips of our fingers to the ends of our toes.

Happy Holidays, friends, I cherish you.