that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.


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i know i know

I blame what you are about to read on matcha green tea ice cream cravings and my age — I’ll be 24 in about 5 days, gross.

I did absolutely nothing today. I woke up at 5:00 am with the intention of watching the sunrise from the trail above our house. Unfortunately due to the cleanse I am doing for a week, I can’t have coffee. At that hour, even the best of intentions fail and are less appealing if caffeine is not at the core. So I walked around for a bit sat on the couch. At about 7:15 I showered because I was a disaster and even I know that as counter-productive as it is, I would not go to the gym before having one. My eta for the gym was 9:30. I showered, put on my gear, drank the cleanse-brew, and sat on the couch again. This was quite unappealing so I went down to the den where I plugged in the latest ‘Brothers and Sisters’ episode (I’ve started watching the show — not bad). I woke up in my gym clothes at 11:45. At this point I realized my movie was due back at noon and I had 10 mins to get to the 20 min away location. I put my shoes on, walked out to my car, walked back into the house, and took off my shoes. I stripped down to my sportsbra (sorry) and shorts and sat on the chair outside in the heat — which reclines so I fell asleep until the heat woke me up. Then I went on facebook for all of 7 mins to respond to an e-mail, or message – whatever, and then realized my time allowance on megavideo was available so I watched another ep. of BaS. To which I fell asleep. Jes phoned at approximately 4:09 pm which was right around the time that I woke up and was fixing my next cleanse juice. And put a load of laundry in the dryer. When she called, I told her it felt like I just woke up from an 10.5 month coma (which started last September) but our conversation was so long and heated and passionate about the issues, the oh-so-rampant-issues, in my over-excited-life, I got plain exhausted and had to lay down. Now it is 7:18, and I just woke up. Oh, and I drank a calculated 24+ cups of water in the last 12 hours so there have been bathroom breaks in my day too.

I feel like 25 cents for not going to the gym because I love the gym and love what’s happening to me because of it, 4 bucks for not having coffee, $12.95 for watching 9.5 episodes of ‘Brothers and Sisters’, 17 dollars for dreaming about the new-to-me Counting Crows song I heard, and like I maxed my credit card for maxing on my sleep. A new day dawns, my friends, but the only thing I feel good about right now is that I have enough confidence in myself and my readership to be 100% honest with all of you. I know you’re jealous.

For someone who is never, ever this unproductive, I think I am handling the wasted-day with class. And a sunburn cause that 50 mins in the recliner just about did me in.

What did you do today? (I am going back to bed so I will check tomorrow.. :))

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starting week three…

So this cleanse has been fabulous.

It hasn’t been that difficult, either. Basically, I’ve cut out processed foods, specifically packaged foods and breads as well as limiting my dairy intake to almost nil… and maximizing on fruits, vegetables, and salmon. It takes a little be more planning but the results have been great.

I feel fantastic. Healthy. I am more alert (not that I am not usually but office work and school work are not the excitement-peaking things so when I am at it all day, I wanna doze off around 2:30).

Working out feels better, too. Like I am actually doing more than trying to fight the bad foods I am putting into myself but that when I’ve burned 650 calories on the elliptical machine I know that it’s a good thing, not the sandwich I had at lunch.

And I think in my mind, psychologically I believe this is a great step so I think that in changing my thinking and my diet into realistic things, my working out and end results can’t be anything but positive. And that is a good, excellent feeling.

I am firmer, too, but I don’t know if that’s the last 18 days of cleansing or just finally seeing results of working really hard at taking care of myself.

Also, I love coffee… in any form, but specifically Americanos or Starbucks latest thing, Double Shot on Ice… but for my cleanse I also gave up caffeine… well, more for the summer. What my ultimate goal is to be in a place where my love of coffee becomes a treat and not a dependency. Especially while going to school. So that I can sleep a bit more if I don’t have to make coffee, save more so if I forget to make it I won’t buy it, and truthfully, just to find the beauty in a cup of coffee with a friend or family as a delicacy and a treat that I love more than cookies or ice cream.

So even though I quit caffeine immediately upon my arrival here, it seems heightened-ly brilliant since I’ve been cleansing. It was really hard at first, I definitely had withdrawals and headaches and was tired earlier than I should be…but now I am great. So I recommend doing it, especially to students, during the summer versus the busy time of school because it’s a lot easier to justify falling asleep while writing a board report for work over sleeping through a final exam.

There you have it, this mild cleanse I recommend to anyone. The beauty of this situation is that the gent at the gym told me that I should not be discouraged by other people who are fitter than I am that work out as much as I do (5-6 days a week) or by smaller people than I am who never work out/exercise at all because exercise and eating well is very, very important to anyone… so I am becoming an advocate for that change.

And just the subtle confidence that I am doing something to better equip myself for my life. Period.

Very cool.


1 Comment

eggplant, yams, and no processed foods

I am doing a thirty day cleanse.

No caffeine, bread, dairy, red meat, processed foods like condiments, pasta, watermelon, grapes, or sugar.

I’m doing it because I work out h-core and haven’t seen the results I want and my kinesiology specialist old roommate said I need to clean out because my body is confused by how much I am working out that it is overcompensating mumbo jumbo.

Basically, I feel like she is trying to prove how much I suck at life and am a chronic cheater, especially when someone says I can’t eat something as simple as yogurt for thirty days, my inner voice kicks in and motivates me to go eat it out of spite.

Kind of like when I cheat at Killer Bunnies.

But either way, I am cleansing.

It’s day 2 and I am ready to give Julie what-for.

I think it’s affecting my hormones because I’ve never felt so close to a total rage blackout as I do now. And it’s not even the caffeine thing. It’s the pills and instructions telling me I can’t that’s killing me.

28 more to go, think I can?