that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.



Is it possible to change 24 hour days to 48 hour days… just until Friday? After our insane drive home (12 hours instead of 6?), and delirious, drugged silliness (heavily medicated Kate — I am quite sick), Mallory and I did not arrive on time nor in time for me to get work done last night. So now I am trying to finish my assignments in order to spend all day tomorrow studying for my Thursday midterm.

And the quiet voice in your head whispers “Do you think she’s tired of it?” You be she is.



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get real

I know this video pertains to the US of A… and has some bad language…and for that I am sorry. But I like the message and whatnot. Since we’re coming up on our own election(s), maybe hearing from Leonardo DiCaprio or Jennifer Aniston will make the urgency of voting more obvious. So imagine they are referring to the Canadian elections and are not swearing:

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manageable time frames

I was trying to find the best describing verb to my current season at the University of Victoria. As a prayfully pending potential English teacher, I enjoy these types of exercises, coming up with words. And it took a bit but now I am completely sure of it: I am BORED. Seriously. I am in 3 introductory courses this semester and I am so bored. I have to take them in order to graduate but ‘oh my gosh’ (as my 5 year old ‘roommate’ would say), is it ever frustrating…in a boring, not angering…way. I mean, in one class there is one other girl than myself who is in her 4th year, and we were commiserating over how university seems to teach us to be critical thinkers. So when I offer an opinion that is ‘outside the box’, I get pounced on by the younger people in the class, because I am wrong when in actuality, we just think differently. Welcome to years of practice. It’s just hard to put myself back in 1st year status, and I think that I am allowed to feel this way given that I’ve been at it for 5 years.

So at church last night I decided I need to break this boredom into manageable time frames so that I don’t fall into a coma… or get too ‘cocky’ and end up doing poorly. Here we go:

3 days – Mom, Dad, and Jayme are here for Marli’s grad.
1 week – Thanksgiving in Pen
2 weeks – My first midterm
1 month, 1 week – Fall reading week in Penticton (10 days home)
2 months, 2 days – First semester classes are over
2 months, 2.5 weeks – First semester finals over and Christmas break
4 months, 2 weeks – Winter reading break… Mexico?
7 months – I have a UNIVERSITY DEGREE.

2 more years – I am a TEACHER.

Actually, this is disgusting. And unmanageable. I think university is increasingly becoming overrated. Not to mention boring.


weathering the storm(s)

I am feeling totally discouraged and I would just ask that you keep me in your prayers right now because, though my problems may seem minuscule to you (see my post from a few days ago), they are like torrential floods to me:

My car was broken into last night and my cd player was stolen. I need new tires and Troy and I did some price estimating yesterday and found a good deal. But what I saved in new tires I cannot afford in putting towards replacing my stereo.

Pastor Al was talking about generosity this morning at church and how God blesses those who bless others. I am all for that idea, and I guess I consider generosity is “freely giving” not being “freely taken from“. So on top of being frustrated, I am just confused. I don’t understand why people do these things — I innocently believe first in the good of people and I am just really struggling. So please, just pray for me. It’s been a long week.


losing my mind

I just want to clarify that I am not as responsible as I appear. Or as organized.

Case in point:

A. Last Thursday, after she had repeatedly told me it was cancelled and wouldn’t be happening, I went to ‘family dinner’ at Auntie Monika’s, ergo forcing Uncle R. to order us pizza as a result of my forgetfulness.

B. Monday I took off my new watch in the library while I was reading only to realize two hours later as I was walking to my car I wasn’t wearing it. I ran back to the library to find it sitting under my chair, much to my delight.

C. That same Monday, I spilled my tea in the morning all over my seat (this issue has two parts, first the tea spilling) and it was a hot day so I assumed it would dry up. The reason I was walking to my car was because my books were getting really heavy so I wanted to dump them off. I put them all on the said tea-spilt seat only to find at 5:00 pm that the seat had not dried before I put the books there so my brand new textbooks boast tea saturated stains now.

D. That same Monday I was praying in my morning devo about finances and struggling already and God just reminded me he’s taking care of me. That being said, I decided to go and buy my $70.00 textbook that I was trying to avoid purchasing. UVic has “cubbies” in the bookstore where you put your bags before entering the store. I bought the said book as well as a binder and notepad so in the process of putting those two items in my bag, I failed to put in the very-expensive-prayed-about-item and walked away. This was at 9:30am. At 4:00 pm, driving home, I was halfway back to Colwood (far) when I realized I hadn’t seen that book all day. I mad dashed in sheer hysteria back to UVic, praying that someone from the bookstore would hear my case with compassion and honour my receipt. As I ran into the bookstore, I glanced over to the cubbies and lo and behold, there sat — after seven hours — my history textbook. I estimate hundreds of students walked in and out of those doors but there. It. Still. Was. God was 1/2 smiling on my that day.

I went home in dire straits. I had had enough. Thinking the week could “only look up from here”:

E. Yesterday, I felt like junk. Like someone had taken my throat, head, and stomach out of my body, stomped on them, and put them back in. So I decided to skip my last class of only 2 classes of the day. As I am walking back to my car, I realize I don’t have my keys. Sure enough, they are locked in my CAR. What now you wonder? Well, bless his heart, my Dad (and his BCAA membership) were heading to Victoria that evening for dinner at my Aunts. Would he leave a little early? Sure he would! But that didn’t eliminate the awkward girl sitting on the curb right beside her car, in an act of fear someone would steal her pretty little car, reading for two hours in anticipation. (That was me, in case I lost you). By the time Dad arrived, called BCAA, tow truck never arriving at all, Dad takes matters into his own hands and in an act of true heroism and bravery, lassos a pieces of rope through the crack of the window and, with the aid of a long piece of wood, manages to open the window enough to reach in, it is now 6:15 pm and my skipping class to go home to bed is a distant memory.

The whole time I am thinking: My joy is being tested. My joy is being tested. My joy is being tested. My JOY IS BEING TES….ARE YOU SERIOUS, GOD?!?!

Like, enough is enough. I am sick of near-catastrophic events! I haven’t had a bad day in about 12 months… why now a bad WEEK?

On the upside, this week:

A. I sent Jes’ birthday present on time for the first time in a long time.
B. I finished all my History 315 readings early as well as finished three of my Young Adult lit readings on time.
C. Finished three items on my new “to do” list.
D. Successfully went down the blue (and tumultuous, freakishly scary) waterslide at our private swim at the Cowichan Aquatic Centre.
E. Witnessed a miracle. (It’s not an emotional, but rather hilarious, one for which you need my voice, animation, and excitement over the matter to explain. And it’s only amazing if you know the person it involves.)
F. And finally, after a year of dreaming, planning, devising, calculating, waiting, Joce and I took our rollerblades out on the Galloping Goose trail. It was a dream, I tell you, a dream. Complete with the misty eyed viewing and sun ray bursting setting.

See? It’s apparently not all bad.


mitch hedberg

Sue, one of my BFFs from high school, used to download comedy for her own listening pleasure. (She might still do it, we don’t really talk about those sorts of things). Sometimes, when she would find a particularly good one, she would call me and tell me to listen to it, sometimes over the phone (?), or when I would visit her, she would play it for me and wait expectantly for me to chuckle at the right spots. I would take my cue from her and laugh when laughter glazed over her own eyes, because I honestly (sorry Sue) did not think it was funny, at all. He wasn’t crude, by other comedic standards, and my lack of enthusiasm seemed to just be another peg on my socially incapacity scale — it was really hard for me to admit that I was naive, especially when [by all appearances] I was pretty socially smart and “in”. (I am not ‘tooting my own horn’ I am just saying that our ‘group’ in high school was pretty much the conventional ‘in’ crowd, much to my 23 year old wisdom dismay, so when I struggled with things that were ‘in’ that I didn’t understand, I never admitted it, hence the need for a therapeutic blog of admitting past issues).

Also, I struggled with that comedians often sound like they are on drugs/drunk or they often laugh or crack jokes at the expense of others. Wrong. Stupid. Glorifying humour that we should stay away from. But then again, I am all for people who can poke fun at themselves.

Anyways, I didn’t think Mitch Hedberg was funny. In fact, ‘funny’ to me isn’t always what other people think is funny. Just before Christmas, Luke and Buzz and I took a study break and I brought over Superbad to watch with them. Maybe it was the 18th C Literature that was suffocating my brain, but I also didn’t find Superbad funny. In fact, I found myself stealing looks at the men to know when I should be laughing, even though when Luke started full on rage-cackling at a scene, I was thinking ‘is this guy for real?’…Luke, not the movie… I couldn’t believe they thought parts were as funny as their laughs dictated. I watched Superbad again a couple months later, on my own, and while it didn’t make me laugh out loud like it did them, I could see definite funny-possibilities once I watched it again.

I find this fascinating, because I like to think of myself pretty easygoing and always up for anything, particularly if fun is involved. But regular old 21st C hilarity is just not funny to me. I mean, some comedy is fantastic… I think we can all agree that Ellen is absolutely fantastic, I do laugh out loud at her show whenever I catch it on the TV and her stand-up DVD I must’ve watched every time I went over to Daly’s house the year after I graduated (well, maybe the two times they had rented it…but hey). But yea, it’s just not my thing. It’s almost as if movies or comedy are almost forced humour, and I can’t seem to get over that they are standing up in front of an audience and their whole purpose is to be funny. It’s almost as if I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of my laughter because I refuse to let people make money or entertain by physically trying to be funny. So even if a part of me wants to LOL, my psyche refuses.

Therefore, when people put me on the spot and say ‘hey Kate, check this out!’ I cringe because 9/10 times it’s either comedy, like Mitch Hedberg, that I struggle laughing at, something stupid that a human being has done that I will laugh laugh laugh at to a point where the person showing me questions my morality, or a dumb movie that is so absolutely hideous that I start getting angry that I wasted a moment watching it.

People, time is something we cannot get back.

Although, I do love this quote from one of Mitch Hedberg’s finer moments:

“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.”

(Please respect the fact that this blog is A: a matter of personal opinion and B: does not, by any means, serve to inhibit you from showing me ‘funny’ things… I Just needed to create a safe haven so I don’t have to keep pretending anymore and C: like many things, is completely blown out of proportion).


the way I see it…

There is not enough time in a day or week or semester to get done what needs to. Not just school, but hanging out with God, devos, working out, cooking meals, calling home, writing e-mails, sleeping, watering plants, staring at pictures on the wall, spinning around and around on the chair Auntie M gave me, adjusting my webcam to perfect focus for Skype conversations with Ang in Europe, moisturizing, plucking my eyebrows, going to the doctor/dentist/optometrist, ensuring summer work, dreaming about the future, missing people, making friends, opening and closing the window and/or blinds, using measuring cups, brushing my teeth, downloading music, laundry, riding the bus (or driving for that matter), watching Prison Break, taking clothes to the Salvation Army, making my bed and unmaking it to go to bed, hanging up clothes, making small talk with roommates, charging my cell phone and/or iPod, rollerblading, making coffee (sans Lenten fasting), or writing on my blog?

Seriously. How in the world can I do what I need to do? From that list, I would appreciate some insights and aid in prioritizing. I lack so much motivation right now and it’s not good at all. I just don’t know how to get everything done. Believe it or not, I just wasted 15 minutes on this list. Clearly, I am doing something wrong! Worldly wise advice? Yes, please!!