that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.


a little voice

How do we quiet the voice in our heads? Mine keeps telling me things that I find hard to believe.

If you have the answer, let me know.  Seriously.



question #1

(This is an interactive blog, I would like you to comment answers for me because I am genuinely curious and I plan to do this often now, providing this goes well…)

Q1: Do you believe that acting upon conviction (doing what you know you should)… especially one that you keep fighting to ignore but can’t… is worth it even if the outcome is completely heartwrenching and appearingly awful?


skill testing question

I had to write a “found poem” for my Teaching Reading and Writing Comprehension for Grades 6-12 class. What I did was created a poem about loss through different lines from some of my favourite songs. I want you to guess where the lines are from (Song/Artists) and try to get as many right.. here’s a hint: it’s a 14 line sonnet but there are more than 14 songs listed. Good luck, your prize will be unreal!


Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave

I had asked myself, do you know what you’re getting yourself into?

It’s happened once again, I’ll turn to a friend, with nothing to lose, nothing to do

My best friend, you stand by me, and you believe in me, like nobody ever may

I’m begging you to forgive me, while I feel the waves come crash into me

Help me believe in anything, ‘cause I want to be someone who believes

Made us think we were wise and never compromise, I b’lieve

Maybe one day wake up and this will all just be a dream?

Can’t help thinking, remember it’s times like these we learn to live again

So many relationships in this life, but only one or two will last

Sad I never said thank you for that, thought I might get one more chance

But every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end

It’s a great day to be alive, sun still shining when I close my eyes

Those were the best days of my life, back in the summer of ’69.

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Hey guys, I will write as soon as life settles down immensely. A detailed little letter anyways… but I just wanted to ask for your prayers. Our house isn’t done and in a new development, I need to buy a new computer. So not only is this a huge inconvenience, but it’s an expense I didn’t count on. The unfortunate thing is being an english major (and universitys becoming increasingly more digital) a computer is necessary. So I am scared about how much it will cost and how much the expense will set me back. As I said, I covet your prayers in this unexpected issue but also in my search for a new job.

Thank you… and I will get back to you soon!



i passed my drivers test…

… and other musings.

The yesterday-today-tomorrow mindset…do you ever find yourself caught in a whirlwind, with nothing to hold onto? Like in the movie,Twister, when the HUGE tornado is coming and the two characters strap themselves with leather belts onto a bar that is buried deep into the ground in order to not be lost up in the storm.

Consider this: if there were three bars to choose from, and you have ENOUGH time to make the decisions, which bar would you go for?

That first one… you’ve actually past it already. The yesterday choice. It is there that you see what was… the place where decisions sit decided, dreams remain still yet to come true, and promises made have been kept or forgotten. So many things surround it… the beginning of life, where you made your initial mistakes and scored some winning points; an accountability of all your firsts The metal has been weathered by the passing of time… so much that you know if you try holding onto it for much longer, the smooth and worn down surface will cause your hands to lose grip and slide off…

You take a step to the next one but your eye catches as the sun glistens off the one even farther away. Tomorrow… your future. The pole is brand new, nothing has touched it or tainted it in any way. You must decide whether to put all of your strength and energy into something that might be so unreal that it truly doesnt exist… will you strap yourself on where you cannot predict how well you will be able to keep holding onto it? It has yet to be experienced… so new you can see a reflection of possibility, change, mistakes, perseverence, and things you never dreamed could be yours. But would you really want to stand there and stare into its shiny surface for so long that you forget to grab onto it… and the other moments pass you by?

Not even noticing, you’re resting on the middle post. The bar not shiny or smooth. Just sort of in between. In the wind it tends to sway and in the sun it gets very hot. You certainly don’t know if you can trust it to hold you, as it is slightly unstable and offers no guarantees. This is today. It’s not wishing for the future or desiring what was. It’s ONLY making promises you intend to keep. It’s actually having a dream. It’s making mistakes but having nothing to worry about. It’s not holding a grudge. It’s making a friend and keeping him there. It’s DEFINITELY not being angry. It’s making the decision to be only YOU and loving every minute of it. It’s taking a chance on things that you are completely unsure of. It’s a risk. And it’s what makes today.

What bar would you choose? Could you trust another person to make the decision for you? Would you decide to even raise the bar even HIGHER… far out of your reach, because you’re not going to hang onto anything; instead, let this life just carry you away?



Okay, I am going to try this question again… Nicole Kidman asked Russell Crowe in an interview before the Oscars, a very pointed question… and since I am really interested to know your responses, please let me know:

What would you rather: To LOVE or to BE LOVED?

Or more specifically:

What are you better at: LOVING or BEING LOVED?



Hey, this is for ALL the readers of my little journal here (so all of you, that I don’t even know read it, please take part in this…you can remain anonymous).. I was just wondering if you think I should change my layout… if it is difficult to read, too dark, or you can’t hide it from your bosses at work. Problem is that I cant find any that I necessarily like other than the plainness of this but please let me know in a comment if you think it needs to change… then I will just find anything to change it to. Thanks. And have a nice day.