that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.


resolution ’13

It is fascinating, the whole idea of new years, new perspectives, and pressure to ‘change’ or ‘goal set’ or determine something BIG to shape the next 12 months (or however far into the foreseeable future that you allow yourself to ‘plan’ for). I think every January I’ve posted something about what I resolve to do in the upcoming year. However, it was only in a recent conversation with someone that I faced the fact that I think resolutions are ridiculous. Yes, I believe being adaptable and actively seeking growth is important and reflection is crucial to my own understanding of ‘success’. But to actually create a list of all the ways I need to get it together always turns into more of a personal pep talk or worse, talking myself into insecurity over all the ways that I may have messed up the previous year. Not that commiserating over my shortcomings isn’t valuable at times but really… do I really think it’s an important ritual: starting a new year by focusing on all the failures of the last? Hmm. So here’s my thought process –

Commitment – isn’t that what resolutions actually are? Making a commitment, rather than setting a goal, to changing something. Or re-evaluating a part of our existence that might need a little guidance. Sure, it might simply be saying the same thing as I argue against in my previous paragraph. However, I like a good challenge – I am a very committed, loyal, determined person and somehow, ‘committing to’ instead of ‘resolving to’ is going to be a little more realistic for me. And simply: I only have one commitment to this new year, 2013, the year I turn – shame – 28.

I was thinking and praying a lot over the winter holidays about relationship. What does ‘being in relationship’ with people actually mean? What do I bring to the ones I am a part of? How much do I value the relationships in my life and what amount of me is filled by the love and grace that others give to me? Am I worthy…are we worthy…of Jesus’ love and grace, especially in moments when we tend to forget Him? How can I be blessed by but not filled by my earthly relationships? Do those I care for, know how hard it can be? Oh yes –

No answers. It’s really just a thinking/talking point but my heart seems very focused on the meaning of relationship in my life. Because I value the thoughtful and meaningful part of being in relationship with someone, and my love language being quality time, it’s been an interesting question for me to render… relationship, Christ, me, you, value, perseverance, grace, love, patience, pride, change, growth…and how each part woven together is an overwhelming responsibility…but a blessed one. And relationship? Is it okay to admit that sometimes, I just don’t know how?

How to be selfless?
How to be gracious?
Laugh even when it’s hard?
Make room for more new people – when the old are just fine?
How to listen all the time?
Make it through hard moments?
Not miss the ones I miss as much?
How to make time to be grateful for those who’ve given me so much?

Words of a beloved Christmas tune seemed to surround me through this pre-2013 holiday contemplation:

truly He taught us to love one another..

and again:

truly He taught us to love one another..

No questions anymore really, that’s pretty much it.

Going into the new year, that is my simple commitment: to be more intentional in my relationships. To give grace freely, to trust completely, to listen wholly, to remember and be thoughtful, to be present, to recognize each relationship for what large and intimate or small and distant role they have, and to love unconditionally and intentionally all those who have chosen me.

Relationships with intention.

Because that’s the way it was intended to be.

sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise [I]



The disclaimer for this post is that if you are a male, are married to a male, have male children, are friends with males or have taught males…you are, by obligation, expected to post a comment. Or 4.

‘Cause I need help.

I have a very full and anticipatory heart when I think of  my job starting in September. My full heart, however, is an anxious one as I am contemplating teaching my boys. I have 21 girls and 6 boys in my class. Overwhelming ratio? Absolutely. I have ideas about teaching and nurturing and remembering them as I go, but I could use more insights.

What kind of books do your boys like to read?
How do they learn best?
What are some of their passions?
Any world issues they gravitate towards?
What subjects in school do they have the strongest aversions to?
What do they dream about?
How do they spend their spare time?
What has their favourite part about past teachers been?
What discipline tactics do they respond to the best?
Introverted or extroverted?
At 12 or 13, how much responsibility did they have for themselves? What did you expect of them?

The list goes on and on and on…

I think my biggest concerns are engaging the boys in a meaningful way…and the discipline. I want the boys in my class to be valued for being boys and I don’t want them mentally and emotionally outnumbered and suffocated by the absolute physical outnumbering of the ladies in the room.

YES this is a generalization and NO do I not expect any of what you tell or share to be 100% applicable to my boys, I am just curious about this — I’ve been reading a lot of literature on the nature of learning styles and engagement for young men but having never been one myself, your experience…even if your boys are just little guys, and observations are important to me. I crave some input as I get more and more focused on creating an awe-some learning environment for September (which is coming very fast)!

Cheers!! (And thanks…in advance…for your thoughts, please share them)


team input

DO you think my blog looks ridiculous right now? I have very limited options with wordpress so if it looks stupid, tell me. I love criticisms if it means people can exercise a deep seeded passion for complaining. We all have that passion, so consider this your outlet. I am selfless and sacrificial like that. Rant away.


for leanne

My dear, sweet friend-of-a-friend-turned-good-friend Leanne “I like to have smart conversations, judge Chai tea drinkers, and eat Marble Slab ice cream” B*yak (in effort to hide her identity since the whole reason she doesn’t have a blog anymore is the potentially harmful internet world) posed a question to me last night via e-mail. Since, as previously mentioned, she doesnt have a blog anymore, I am doing her a favour (unbeknownst to her) and posing this question to you. Think about it, post some comments on what you believe the answer, coupled with some awesomely endearing compliments on myself and/or Leanne (who has fabulous style, hair, and plants). We do well with flattery :

Is “knowing the answer” and “having the answer” the same or different.

I will let you know what I think once I hear from you.

(if you don’t know who Leanne is, she was Megan’s bridesmaid, Avey’s coworker, and one of my CBFFs (Calgary) that I would’ve lived with had I stayed)



I just wrote a Shakespeare (LAST ONE EVER!!!) final for three hours straight. That means, three of my final exams are done and I have one more. It is tomorrow night (Tues) at 7 pm. I haven’t even LOOKED at the material yet. I’ve organized it, but not LOOKED at it yet (having three other finals will do that to a person). What I want to know is, do you think if I wake up at a decent hour tomorrow, I can study enough? My brain is fried and the couch is looking awfully comfy for a Kate-night-in-front-of-the-television-to-rest-her-overloaded-brain. Or do you think I need to study tonight too? Thoughts, opinions?

Please use discretion when responding to this post, I do not take kindly to being labeled a procrastinator. Especially when I just busted out three, three hour finals in the last four days.

The course tomorrow is Race and Ethnicity in Canada and it’s partially open book.

I will be checking this post continuously, so the more feedback the better.

Thank you.


question #1

(This is an interactive blog, I would like you to comment answers for me because I am genuinely curious and I plan to do this often now, providing this goes well…)

Q1: Do you believe that acting upon conviction (doing what you know you should)… especially one that you keep fighting to ignore but can’t… is worth it even if the outcome is completely heartwrenching and appearingly awful?


skill testing question

I had to write a “found poem” for my Teaching Reading and Writing Comprehension for Grades 6-12 class. What I did was created a poem about loss through different lines from some of my favourite songs. I want you to guess where the lines are from (Song/Artists) and try to get as many right.. here’s a hint: it’s a 14 line sonnet but there are more than 14 songs listed. Good luck, your prize will be unreal!


Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave

I had asked myself, do you know what you’re getting yourself into?

It’s happened once again, I’ll turn to a friend, with nothing to lose, nothing to do

My best friend, you stand by me, and you believe in me, like nobody ever may

I’m begging you to forgive me, while I feel the waves come crash into me

Help me believe in anything, ‘cause I want to be someone who believes

Made us think we were wise and never compromise, I b’lieve

Maybe one day wake up and this will all just be a dream?

Can’t help thinking, remember it’s times like these we learn to live again

So many relationships in this life, but only one or two will last

Sad I never said thank you for that, thought I might get one more chance

But every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end

It’s a great day to be alive, sun still shining when I close my eyes

Those were the best days of my life, back in the summer of ’69.