that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.


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trusting change

“…because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” -Romans 5:5

And for that, I have hope to trust I am exactly where I should be. Why does it feel like there is no turning back now?

Hmm..

Cheers… to fully embracing a new adventure!


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being thankful

I don’t know.

It seems easiest to say the things I am most grateful for…starting with family, ending with health. Everything seems to roll into each other when thinking about what I am grateful for – the obvious parts of my life, the people and things in my grasp that I fear living without.

But then, this year – I think what I am even more grateful for are the challenges and unexpected confusions and left turns instead of right ones. I am so thankful for the hardest parts of life, the ones that make me feel vulnerable and unsure and keep me up at night. Those are the places of the heart that remind me of the deeper purpose and ambition I crave in this life, and that if it was always easy, I would simply be bored.

Or honestly, I am grateful for the challenges because they serve to remind me that I am still growing, still learning, and still seeking the very best and real possible outcome for it all. Difficulties show that we are alive — truly alive.

It’s organic and natural to be thankful for the best parts of our lives, but it takes something else to give thanksgiving for the trials that we don’t realize we’re thankful for until we’re reflecting on them after they’ve passed.

With a thankful soul, happy thanksgiving.

leaves become most beautiful when they’re about to die

regina spektor


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mornings

how glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains! – john muir

Some days [disclaimer], I am not going to feel so vibrant, neither will these posts. But again, as always, we’re moving on.

Every morning my drive to work ranges from thirty-five to fifty minutes, depending on traffic. This is just one of the ways that moving back to the city has been an adjustment. For the first month of my commute, the sun was shining and I found myself grateful for the forced excuse to get up early. Calgary has had an Indian summer unlike any I’ve experienced in awhile and I let myself believe that it’s been a ‘welcome back’ gift just for me…

However, as fall has set in – even with warmer temperatures – the sun seems to less prominent during my drive to work. Last week was particularly noticeable as every morning, I left for work in the dark. My car has been covered in the remnants of colder nights and skirts without leggings already feels like a memory. There’s something quieter about these darker mornings, where it feels as though the rest of the world is still sleeping, and I need to be careful not to disturb anyone.

One thing I am finding as these days are slipping into shorter and shorter lengths of light, is that if I leave at a specific time, the sun is actually rising in my rear view mirror as I round the corner from the east of Calgary, heading west to the school. I have to go down a ramp to switch from one road to the next and if I time it right, I can go down the ramp just as the sun is rising behind me. They’re a beautiful thing, prairie skies, and best experienced for yourself, not described by a morning commuter.

It can be tough though, especially today, because the sun propels me forward and unfortunately, I just wanted to keep driving. I am not prepared to face today; a late night with work and Ken followed by parent interviews and nagging fears of replays from last year are clouding my heart. And with the sun behind my back as I drove in, I want to keep on driving until the sun sets and who knows where I would be at that point. The metaphors for that are endless but I will leave it alone.

Anyway. Thoughts from a Tuesday, sunrise filled morning… one more precious reason I’m glad my life led me here. Again.