that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

i wish i was exaggerating

4 Comments

My wallet got stolen on Wednesday — somebody broke into my car and took it.

Here’s why being Kate is such an adventure…it went something like this:

I finally cracked down and decided to fix Bella, my blue little fireball of a car. (This is the same car that was broken into and the stereo stolen and the same car that was stolen herself). I’ve known for quite sometime that the CV axel and bushings (whatever those are) at the front end needed to be replaced, this knowledge heightened when the problem wore out my tires and left me stranded in Williams Lake with two flats when I was travelling home from Smithers.

So on Monday I brought my car in and on Wednesday my coworker brought me to pick it up after work. I made a deal with myself that if it cost under $650, I would go to Staples and buy an external hard drive for my computer. The work cost me $640. 43 so to Staples I went. I had called ahead of time from work so all I had to do was go to the counter and pay.

I arrived at Staples at 4:58 pm. It was pouring rain so I just grabbed my debit card out of my wallet, shoved my wallet under my gym bag, and ran into the store. (Sidenote: I don’t need the ‘don’t leave anything in your car’ lecture — you’re not allowed, see previous thefts #1 and #2… this is the first time since that I’ve left anything in Bella). When I left the store, the manager was walking in and said “Do you own a Honda Civic?” and I yelled “WHAAAAAT” thinking the little expensive disaster just got stolen AGAIN. No.

“Somebody just shimmied the lock, stole something, and ran away!” – Manager

“I saw the whole thing!” – Some lady.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU YELL!!!!” – Hysteric me.

“Well, I DIDN’T KNOW!” – Said lady.

“I am sorry.” – Me. Still hysterical.

“HE WAS WEARING A BLACK HAT AND BLUE SWEATER AND CARRYING A BAG! And he ran over there by the TD!” – Lady.

“OK. Have a nice afternoon, THANKS” – Me.

(Sidenote #2: Never try to drive a standard when you’re having a conniption. My leg was shaking so much I stalled three times.)

So what did I do? Why, what any classy, smart, level headed woman would… I went after him! I drove up by someone who fit the description and rolled down my window and said

“Can you please give me back my wallet?”

To which he responded

“I don’t have your wallet! Ha Ha Ha.” and he kept walking/running up to the crosswalk.

I am thinking This is SO NOT MY DAY. So I circled around through the Mohawk parking lot and saw that he was crossing the street into the mall parking lot. Where there is a CIBC. My bank. Oh NO he has my VISA. Oh ****! (I am not proud of this, but I was cussing in my head and probably outloud, the next few minutes are a bit of a blur). So I phoned my mom and said:

“MOM my WALLET WAS JUST STOLEN OUT OF MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“WHAT! Kate! WHAT! How?”

“Mom there’s no time, I need you to cancel my Visa RIGHT NOW.” (The stores were still open and he was heading to the mall!)

“Well, what are you doing?”

“I AM TRAILING THE GUY! I already asked him nicely now I am following him, we’re in the Cherry Lane Parking lot and I am in my car”

“Well, GET OUT THERE AND DEMAND IT BACK.”

So what do I do? Obviously. I parked, kept my mom on the line, and ran after him. That’s right, it was all of my CSI dreams come true until I had a fleeting moment where I realized I didn’t know what to do if he pulled a gun on me. I’d deal with that later and kept running. When I caught him, he was angry and said “Look, I don’t have your wallet” and pulled out his own from his back pocket. So I asked if I could look in his bag. He threw it on the ground and let me. It was filled with pop cans and bottles. My heart broke, I apologized and said he fit the description and I didn’t mean to invade his space and to have a really nice afternoon.

Anyways, I am still convinced he had it but whatever.

I went home, and mom had cancelled my Visa. If you can believe it: I left Staples at 5:04 pm. Mom had my visa cancelled at 5:13 pm. The guy tried to charge something to it at 5:18 pm. So in the matter of 14 mins (more accurately, 19 minutes from the time I arrived at Staples), I bought a hard drive, my car was broken into, my wallet stolen, I chased down a criminal (twice), my mom dealt with my bank, and I failed miserably. That was the longest 14 minutes of my life. But look how FAST things like this happen.

So the rest of the hour I was on the phone with my bank because not only was my Visa in there but my cheque book so I had to cancel my bank accounts as well! Then, because my S.I.N. card was in there I had to call the Credit Bureau(s) to flag my credit in case of fraud, and talk to the RCMP… who, sidenote #3, strongly encouraged me to buy a different vehicle given my history with her in such a short period of time!

The nice B.I.D. (blessing in disguise) to this adventure is that an hour or so after my life was flashing before my eyes, a gal from a local pub phoned to tell me she found my license underneath her car. So mom and I went to pick it up and did some dumpster diving/scouring back there before I went and met the RCMP officer in the parking lot to talk about what happened.

I am getting so tired of talking to the RCMP.

And way too used to feeling violated.

Thus begins the painful, annoying, expensive process of replacing everything that was in there. For example, my birth certificate was in my wallet because I just recently got a passport and didn’t take it out yet. For the love of fruit smoothies, that is so annoying. Along with my BCAA, Visa, S.I.N., UVic Student ID, etc. etc. etc… I don’t have time for this heinous nuisance.

On the way home from our Crime Scene Investigating, my mom says

“Kate, I just have to laugh, I think this is how your life simply is…you need the adventure”

To which I responded

“Mom, are you kidding me? It’s not like I am asking for this or walk into these sorts of things on purpose!”

But Kate, it’s not like these sorts of things surprise you anymore, either.

Good point.

But get this, along with my license, the gal found my air miles card and Save on More card under her car. HOWEVER, when we were on our way home, I turned the Save On card over and burst out laughing… it wasn’t my card! SO, either it’s from another wallet  stole OR it’s the card of the thief’s

Ergo, the saga continues… maybe they’ll start letting me ride in the squad car.

I think this picture fits well here, yet again:

Picture 79

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4 thoughts on “i wish i was exaggerating

  1. OH MY WORD. Your life is CRAZY. Thanks for sharing your stories. They make me smile…. and feel sad for you… all at once. xox

  2. Oh my goodness. THAT is crazy. I am feeling all tense just reading your post! ARG!
    My DH said that you have a very very easy car to shimmy/break into. Thieves are lazy. They wait and pick easy cars. Get a different car he says. 🙂

  3. rediculous! That guy deserves to get punched so hard. He probably stole my friggen wallet a few months ago too. 😉

  4. Oh my Kate! You do have the best adventures!
    Aunti

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