that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

iron chef 2009 – the preshow

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Sidenote: Hi Trav, I am glad you are out there creeping on me… I hope you’re having a really good day.

ANYWAYS…LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.

In the sheer geniusity of genius, some friends of mine decided a couple months ago that we should have our own version of Iron Chef America. Have you heard of it? Let me explain.

In the Food Network hit show, two chefs wage a battle in “kitchen stadium” where they are given one hour to complete a plethora of dishes that highlight the secret ingredient. Based on the judging of three judges, each chef is graded on the plating, taste, and originality of their dishes (generally 5 or 6). And then… the winner is deemed IRON CHEF.

We’re trying to channel this a little bit in our modified, student-friendly version. Here’s what’s going “down”:

The Competition (if you can call it that): Darcy/Celine (“the rookies”) vs Georg/Lindsay (“all talk…no walk”) vs Luke/Myself (“team h-core” or “pure awesomeness” or simply “no name needed”).

(I made these up myself because they don’t read this blog, I can say whatever I want).

Judges: Ty “i like cake and whipped cream on drinks” Corfe, Ryan “cook steak and i will vote for you” Recina, and Amanda “hand me smarties and i hand you the prize” Holenstein.

(Luke and I have done our research on how to bribe these people).

Where: deemed the “Torquay Temple”… at Buzz and Celine’s house on Torquay Rd/St/Ave/Whatev.

When: This Saturday. We meet at 3:00 pm at Safeway where Ryan “don’t steal Starbucks aprons while i am on shift” Recina will shoot off a cap gun to signal our start. We have 20 mins to shop and 5 mins to get to Torquay — penalized 1 point for every 5 minutes we go over the time limit. From there, we have two time limit options. Due to only one oven and small space, we’ve improvised to a 90 min time option by in which if a pair finishes in 90 mins they get a bonus point; total time limit is 120 min.

In other words, “ALL KNIVES DOWN!” will be yelled by Amanda “i am running high on life and monster energy drinks” Holenstein at apprx. 6:00 pm SHARP.

What: We have to produce a minimum of 3 dishes, preferably one of each of appetizer, main course, and dessert. We WILL go above and beyond.

Budget: 50$… but spices or any already-owned items (like wonton wrappers! shh!) don’t count in the budget because we can bring them from our respective homes.

Grading: 10 points – taste; 5 points – plating; 5 points – originality; -1 – for every time you fail to adhere to the “iron” clad rules…pun COMPLETELY intended.

The Prize: The losing teams do the dishes.

And the secret ingredient is…

HONEY!

Second sidenote: Luke and I were talking ourselves up quite a bit when the ball started rolling on this event. But since then, we’ve shut right up and created a strategy in our evasiveness. They think that we lost heart for the competition in the last month. I guess they don’t really know that Luke “nothing but grill” Hughson and Kate “likes it spicy” Stam have serious game.

In other words, we’ve been in serious, incredible training over this event. And what an even it IS…we even had a pre-Iron Chef meeting at Starbucks the other night.

Present at the meeting:

The enemies:

Georg “poser Paula Deen” Tuchlinski missing his teammate
Lindsay “artificial Emeril Lagasse” Smith
Darcy “fake Rachael Ray” Pederson and his more skilled partner
Celine “attempted Bobby Flay” Mercier

The judges:

Ryan “the rockstar” Recina
Amanda “the hoopstar” Holenstein
missing: Ty “the skatestar” Corfe

The fan favourites to bet on:

Luke “in contracts for his own Food Network show” Hughson and his sous chef
Kate “doesn’t need a show to be the best” Stam


Stay tuned to hear of our win! And to see pictures! And send your support.

Not that we need any.

Cheers!

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7 thoughts on “iron chef 2009 – the preshow

  1. sounds like fun! make sure to post pictures!

  2. Oh man…this sounds even better then you have talked it up to be. Can’t wait to hear more. Wish I could be a judge with Amanda and those other honkies. Love ya.

  3. lololol… this post seriously cracked me up. Can’t wait to hear of your triumph…

    Awesome!

  4. hehee… you guys are hilarious! You MUST keep us informed! I loove you!

  5. hah! My debut!

    This sounds like a blast. We will be at Darcy’s hockey games this weekend, really looking forward to them! 🙂

    There is one missing role… Photographer! This must be recorded.

    Current tune: DMB – Two Step

  6. Kate, you have too much fun! I want to be apart of the action!

  7. Hahaha! This sounds awesome (except that I hate to cook, so it’s all spectatorial for me) and the post made me laugh. A lot. Good luck!

    Also, DMB? Oh so jealous.

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