that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

running to stand still


praying-hands Sometimes I think it’s okay to share something if it means that people will band together behind someone else  before God. Such will be this.

I don’t think that it is a secret that all I’ve ever been sure of in my life is that I am going to be a teacher. Rather, my dream is to teach. Background: At Mount Royal College, where I did my first two undergrad years, I did a practicum in grade which reinforced to me that I want to teach older kids. In order to teach at a secondary level, one needs a completed undergrad degree in the specialized area he/she desires to teach. So I moved to the University of Calgary to further my way to my degree in English (Bachelor of Arts – Humanities with a major in English).

At the time, education was not standardized so if I got my degree in Alberta, I would not be as qualified to teach in BC as someone who got a degree here (such, I would be always a pay scale behind). So I opted to move here and because UVic has both a stellar Education and Humanities program, here I am.

Last year when I went to declare my major (English), I sought out the Education Faculty advisor first, who told me that I would be better off NOT majoring but instead, getting two minors (one in English and the other in History) so that I would have not one but two teachable areas, thus making me a more appealing candidate  for the program and imminently more hireable once I am done. After a week of prayer and intense thinking, I decided to change my degree to conform to that… so instead of having a Bachelor of Arts – English Major I will graduate with a Bachelor of Arts – General with a concentration in both English and History. Since I never planned to get a Masters or PhD in either of those fields, and because I got the go ahead from two Education advisors, I opted to fore go my English-majorhood.

On December 16, I went to the Education advisor again for verbal and written confirmation that I was on the right track. As she was explaining to me how I was more than eligible, my grades are fine, etc. etc. she warned me that History/Social Studies is the most popular area for people to apply into the program for. Meaning, out of apprx. 120 Post Degree students last year, 80 of them were for Social Studies (that means, only 40 covered the other avenues: English, Math, French, Biology, Chem…etc). She said even though I have the two teaching fields and good grades, she doesn’t know how I will measure up against the rest of the people coming through — fair enough. The big, scary concern is that generally, if they have too many people applying for something like Social Studies, and they have two teachable areas, they would just accept them into the one area, in my case English.

However, as soon as you are admitted into only ONE teachable area, you need 6 more courses.

Those six courses I WOULD have if I was an English Major.

Make sense? Basically, she said that if they cannot admit me into Social Studies, they cannot admit me into English either because I would not have enough classes. Even though they are the ones who told me to forgo the major to begin with.

This is where you come in.

I am absolutely terrified and afraid that I will not be accepted into the program for September 2009. If I am not accepted, then I would have to do a whole bunch of rigmarole to try to “cancel” my degree and come back for yet ANOTHER couple semesters for my UNDERGRAD. I just cannot do ANOTHER, a SIXTH, year of this degree. I cannot get motivated to finish THIS one even.

So if you don’t mind joining me on my knees, pray for God’s direction and His hand in these coming months. Pray that His will be done and that if He truly doesn’t give me more than I can handle, that I will be able to understand or handle it with grace if it doesn’t go the way I’ve been dreaming about. Please pray that the advisor was just warning me yet not telling me that that was how it was going to go. And please just get behind me before God as I hand in my application (It’s due January 31) for the teaching program. And that I do NOT need to do another year of this.

I often feel that it would be hard pressed to find someone who has wanted this so badly and for so long as I have, I don’t like the feeling that my dream is in the hands of a panel of people… and that it has been such a bumpy road, it has to amount to something, right?

Thank you.

4 thoughts on “running to stand still

  1. “… Nothing is too much to ask, now that I have said I’m Yours…” Matt Redman

    The desires in your heart are there because God put them there… and He wouldn’t do that if He didn’t intend to fulfill them.

    But remember too, that sometimes things take a different turn than we expect and it’s that journey that stretches us and changes us more than the way we had hoped and anticipated for. All that to say, either way- you WILL be able to handle anything and EVERY thing that comes your way.


  2. Oh Kate,
    That’s so frustrating… It will all work out in the end. Please know that…
    I will be praying for you… And all this other time that you have not been in the program, I agree with Billie – it’s shaping you and making you ready for the profession. You will make an excellent teacher, and you life experience and the work He is doing in your heart will only augment that.
    I love you. I believe in you.

  3. I believe in you too Kate. You are in my thoughts and prayers. 🙂

  4. Oh WOW…..
    How frustrating Kate….
    In ten years, when you are looking back at all this, this time will make sense. It may not look the way you want it to now but in time….in time…in time…

    He really does know the plans HE has for you Kate, and I’m so glad HE is so much bigger than all the details.

    Hang in there friend, I’ll hold you up…..

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