that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

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not for the faint of heart, mind…or stomach

Spoiler Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: This post is disgusting. However, now that I have access to a digital camera, I can post pictures. And tonight was in full need of photographic documentation.

DISCLAIMER: I work for the regional government and consulted with both our environmental coordinator, pest control, and the guy who I have a crush on (he knows about these things, so I needed advice). Ergo, everything you see here is completely legal, legitimate, and not, I repeat NOT, interrupting the circle of life or interfering with the natural vegetation of our area/property or the Okanagan Valley as a whole. So please refrain from calling me an animal killer or inhumane, because this is completely condoned and done by actual contractors within our RD and municipalities. There is a bylaw too but I am not going to scan it on here, just take my word for it.

BACKGROUND: We have a pool in the back yard which is a God-send in the 40 degree weather during the summer months. After slaving over cleaning it and filling it, there is a type of black bird (Starling — “Starlings are very aggressive and will drive native birds out of their territory.They often gather in the tens of thousands, creating a nuisance when roosting in populated areas”) that use the pool (and now the pool cover) for their bathroom. So after scooping and pressure washering and everything else, they don’t leave. In fact, they are nuisance birds that scare away all of the other birds and “wildlife” that habitat here, especially orchards/vineyards (like the one we live on). And a few years ago, our pond was filled in so the guy at work detected that theses birds now use our pool as their “pond” because the other one is gone. Anyways, if it’s not the pool, it’s our vehicles. It’s absolutely disgusting. Below, the picture shows a SAMPLING of what the ENTIRE pool cover looks like, it’s covered, and what the entire bottom of the pool looks like too:
Stupid Birds

SO with the go ahead from coworkers and the law, we have to call the conservation officers who will catch and poison the birds — so they will be killed anyways — because they are interrupting the life balance here. But we’re also allowed to shoot them with pellet guns and slingshots:

That’s Nathan, John, and Riley.

And by golly, they made an example of the little hideous monster:

This is all that’s left of the little guy:

This is what’s left of the crew:

I consider this a pure example of problem-solvers 101. Want to come for a swim?? We’re ready to go!