that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

rude awakening

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I am not invincible. I am not a genius. I don’t have the perfect nose. I don’t have a photographic memory. I am not capable of multitasking tv watching and novel reading. I don’t know when someone is lying to me. I trust the weather people a little too much. I don’t go to sleep on time every night. I don’t have a time to be asleep at, but if I did, I still wouldn’t do it. I admire my friend Angela for traveling across the world every year. I am envious of the people I know who are in love. I am not fearless. I know what I did was wrong, but I need affirmation for what I do that’s right. I am not perfect, but I do the best that I can. I don’t always eat the allotted amount of fruits and vegetables (I don’t even know what they are). I say things without meaning it sometimes just to get out of a tough spot. I have pictures on my walls but I tend to avoid looking at them. I am afraid that I might never be a teacher. I am a terrible communicator. I know I am procrastinating when I know I should be reading. I deliberately lift weights that are too heavy for me at the gym. I like my coffee black, my tea green, and my space in the morning. I am too embarrassed to carry an umbrella so I wear my hood instead. I am scared of being worth-less. I know that in my life, there is a spot reserved for me, just haven’t found it yet. I think the best part about university is observing all the different kinds of people that are there. I think the worst part of university is how my voice and opinions are not always praised. I have a voice that clearly needs to be humbled. I am not invincible, but I am capable; I am not wise, but I am not stupid either. I am not entirely sure what I am, but it’s always a little easier to know what I am not. And those are just the Tuesdays.

🙂

“All our ordinary stories are changed in time, altered as much by the present as the present is shaped by the past.” -Joy Kogawa

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One thought on “rude awakening

  1. you are great, and beautiful, and although none of us have the perfect nose, i am envious of your beautiful hair! so. there. you. go.

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