that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.


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do you think we grow out of it?

My roommate told me today she’s overly Christmas-spirited this year. I think it’s because she’s in love.

Griffin went to see the parade with Santa in it last Saturday with Auntie, Uncle, and Alicia. I wonder if it’s in part to start the season off and see Santa themselves…to see it through the eyes of a child?

Kyla mentioned that it is supposed to snow this weekend in Victoria and my heart swelled about three times the size. I think it’s because I was hoping it would.

I bought a box of Christmas cards. I think it’s because I want to spread the feeling.

Cardamon, Cinnamon, Cloves, and Cookie-Cutters. I think it’s because I decided to make gingerbread.

Do you think we grow out of it? That feeling that warms us up from out fingertips to our tippy toes? As I was driving to Scott and Kyla’s today, I had a phonecall from someone and what the person wanted was my commitment for something. I had to look at my watch for today’s date and I was floored that it’s already November 23. Maybe it’s because it flew by so fast that I was shocked, but more so… there’s no snow on the ground, I haven’t worn my mitts and toque for any other reason than they look cute, and I have yet to have my oh-so-favourite feeling of icicles on my eyelashes and a cold red nose. I anticipate this time just as much as I have every year, but that feeling has been twisted into a feeling I don’t actually recognize: How do I get in the Christmas spirit, and the winter that I love so much, when I can still walk outside in shorts and a shirt and wave to the neighbour boy that’s doing the same?

I wouldn’t. But my friend Suzanne does. And I think it’s weird.

To combat the weirdly unexpected missing of winter to trigger that oh-so-loving-feeling of Christmas, I actually went to Wal-Mart and walked over to the seasonal section and just looked. As I fingered the intricate, yet inexpensive, ornaments and bulbs, my heart started racing and Boney M came through the loud speaker singing “Little Drummer Boy”…

Insignificant? Hardly. For as long as I can remember, us kids have stirred Christmas morning to the record of Boney M’s Christmas and if I am not mistaken (my dear sisters, correct me if not true) I always happen to be alerted as the words “Come…they told me.. pa rum pa pum pum…” softly drifted into our bedroom. I think that, aided by the fact that Scott and Kyla have their beautiful Christmas tree erected and decorated, reminded me that Christmas…and that feeling…doesn’t need the snow or a frostbitten nose…or snow drifts cascading across the house’s side.

So I made gingerbread tonight… I can’t for the life of me spell the Swiss term for it… and that, accompanied by my in-love-Christmas-spirited roommate, and the gentle anticipation of snow potentially this weekend reminded me of something pretty great:

I happen to love you all. It’s not a huge revelation, it’s just unbelievably true. I don’t know if people read this that I don’t know, but if you do, I hope my words have been able to reach you in some way through reading this. It’s a powerful thing, blogging, I wonder if anybody believes in the intensity of it.

I know it’s early, and some of you may not have nestled down and thought about what is on the horizon pending this upcoming month, but I sincerely wish you Jesus’ peace in the coming little while. I truly believe that this peace is real, and needed, all the time… but all too often, we get sidetracked by the consumerism and the wanting snow and expectations for everything to turn out just right. Heck, look at me. I let papers, old friends, reading, dishes, the gym, coffee, showering… everything that makes my existence allow so many moments that I miss or forget or ignore.

The funny thing is, no matter what city I am in, no matter how it’s packaged or who delivers it or how quickly it seems to come, the spirit is always there…

Maybe simply to reconnect with who we are. And what’s important.

Maybe to get that lighthearted feeling… a reminiscent one that makes it ok that my nose can’t be cold and I can’t go skating on outdoor rinks…but it’s enough to have those memories.

Maybe… it’s a real time to reconnect with Jesus. I mean really, we all feel pretty devastated when someone disregards our own birthdays.

No…I don’t think we grow out of it, we just get better at wanting it.

And wanting it for the right reasons.

And wanting it because it makes us feel safe, warm, and alive right from the tips of our fingers to the ends of our toes.

Happy Holidays, friends, I cherish you.

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