So I just had the worst week of my life. And by worst, it’s really not, it just shocked me I could have a bad week when there’s no drama in my life. But it was terrible. I got a couple bad grades… I am fearing for my life here because I am not just trying to complete an English undergrad degree…but I am trying to get into Education when I am done so every mark counts. So my heart naturally stops and I have moments of severe anxiety, particularly on Thursday when I got not one but two papers back with bad grades. And then I had not one, but two midterms on Thursday as well. It was lame. My hair looked cute and everything that day but no, terrible.
Another problem of this past week, my kidneys have been feeling weird again. Feels like the onset of last years trauma, but more like a dull incomfort and that scares me because my memories of last fall are clouded by PAIN so I don’t actually remember how it felt leading up to it. Pray, cross your fingers, and hope for me that it is not what I think it might be again. Speaking of health, I just did a throat inspection (best I could) in the mirror and it looks like I might have strep. Check me out, I am Doctor Kate. Not really. But Yea, I feel like the worst thing about having a bad SCHOOL week can bring on bouts of sickness. Lame. (Actually I just want people to feel sorry for me so I am milking this blog).
I am also feeling lonely… man-lonely. My roommate’s boyfriend SURPRISED her and flew in from Edmonton on Friday morning… I knew, but she had NO idea. Is it wrong that out of spite I just wanted to ruin the surprise and tell her? Why in the world should SHE get the special treatment from her honey? What about me? Aren’t I good enough? Yea. Coupled with the fact that my two best friends in Victoria are in very serious relationships, well, I am 22 and single and lonely. Where’s Leanne when I need her? Yea.
Although, this week was alright in other ways. Friday night I went to my cousin and his wife’s house for a rager (like a crazy insane party that was out of control). Just kidding it wasn’t a rager, we actually carved pumpkins and mine was a ghost. I introduced Chrissy and another girl (lady?) to the world of Killer Bunnies… and it was a pretty neat evening. Although, the things they talk about go over my head so I found I did a lot of smiling and nodding… all in all, I had a fantastic time.
Now for the kicker, Angela is here (apparently). So yesterday I thought we’d be having a fabulous evening of banana muffin making (I am a loser) and sightseeing but she never made it into town last night as planned. So now… I am at home, which is clean, my roommate and her boyfriend-surprise have left for the day, and I am waiting for Ang. I missed a costume party and a weekend in Duncan on account of her. Would a normal person spend this time waiting? I don’t get it.
All of these experiences this week have lead me to one simple question: Am I a loser? I mean, seriously. My grades are sucking, I don’t have a significant other and I hate others who do, my kidneys feel like they are going to rupture, I don’t know anything about the World of Warcraft (or WOW is what people IRL say), and I’ve spent (minus three hours of accumulated time at the gym) 48 hours waiting for my pseudo-bff that I thought was in town.
Forget the pretense. I am a loser.