I was talking to a coworker about a month ago about how smoothly things seem to slide into place for my move to Victoria. I shared with her about my acceptance to Victoria (and lack of acceptance to Lethbridge), which explicitly removed any decision making; finding a place so quickly; having most of my courses transfer easily; and genuinely just feeling God’s peace surround this transition in my life.
Then when I got here what was intended for catching up with dear friends and family has evolved into an unnecessary string of difficulties that are leaving me wavering on tip-toe, trying to hold my balance. From computer troubles to a lacking-home; from tears, trials, and arguments with family to not checking if my class room changed, resulting in missing my writing class. All of these things may sound miniscule to some… but reality is for me that I am not very often shaken. I think about stress and pain and confusion…emotions and dealings most people have often times in their lives..but when I look at mine, I’ve had a pretty ‘easy’ go of it. So naturally, when God decides to rock my world… he does in full force. And it’s really new for me…this concept of trusting him. Or trying to understand.
I went to Powell River this past weekend with Marli and Dad… genuinely desiring to leave and just think about things (and how I was going to solve them). Mars and I wee in a litle gift shop when I came across this card that said:
“Each new wave re-arranges the patterns in the sand so we may pretend our footsteps are the first.”
I liked that. Although the relation to my predicament is slightly obscure, I really found comfort in that. Simply put, I like to be in control. I like to know and believe that what I am doing is so uniquely my own that I forget people have come before me and done what I’ve done and mess up like I mess up. We have the same struggles and fears… and yet with God, he allows us to experience them individually… for each suffering or meager sadness and problems we deal with become our own, simply because he finds is necessary for it to happen. Necessary for me to grow from it. Rather than independent of need, he makes us dependent of Him. And that’s how I know there is reason for this. Because as I found it too easy, too calm to get here… so God sees fit to rattle me out of my comfort. You know what I mean? I am sorry if it’s out of control.
And typical, in my morning devotions yesterday and today, I was given two awesome words. So here, maybe they will help you too:
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end.” – Eccl. 3:11
And what I needed the most,
“The LORD will fight for you…you need only to be still.” – Ex. 14:14
Praise God for His mercies. And reminding me that this wave, and my footprints, too shall pass.
Sorry for the babbling!