I think advice is hilarious… in fact, my sister and brother in law are here and while we were at the beach today (that’s right, I had a day off… which included some brilliant wine tasting!) with Nate, Jayme, and Mom we had a rare occurrence that had Mark suggesting I blog about advice… so hopefully I can do it some sort of justice, aside from it being a “had to be there” moment(s).
The reason behind the fantastic humour that I find in advice is that there are so many types of it. And so often, the kinds of advice we get or recieve are that ones that we just don’t want.
1. The Parental Advice – this type is what we don’t always want to hear but know they are probably right speech. Difficult to stomach when you’re a teenager, invaluable when you’re trying to do something they id or know alllll about. “Back when I was your age…”
2. The Unwarranted Advice – this advice is the kind you recieve when someone, potentially thinking they have your best interests at heart, assumes by something you’ve said or written or acted or didn’t show up for, that they have some powerful words to help you through “it”, even though in your head, there is “nothing” that needs advising… heck, we all know what happens when we assume… “Not that it’s any of my business, but I am going to make it my business, what’s with that look on your face today?”
3. The Friendly Advice – this category might be the easiest to handle, because the person giving it to you is not attacking you or telling you how it is, they simply may phrase it like “I wouldn’t do that…. but what do I know.” It’s safe, where if you’re the one giving it, you can say “Well, I tried” and the person recieving it can say “Thanks but no.”
4. The Advice Asked-For – when you need advice and you get it, but not in the form of by which you so desired. Basically: you had a stress-flash, needed advising, and either took it or not, but was more a way you could justify venting about your world. “HELP”
5. The Timely-Silent Advice – when a family member or friend or acquaintence advises you but doesn’t realize that you needed that at a specific, that specific, moment. When someone tells you just to “go with the flow and relax” yet they have no idea you just were 30 mins late for your job interview.
6. The Annoying Advice – when someone tells you something because they know-OH-SO-much better than you… but what they tell you, you already know (and have heard a thousand times before. It’s like reminding someone to breathe. “Just do it, trust me it’ll keep you alive. I’ve done it.”
7. A Man’s Advice – just let it go. “Don’t you think you’re making a big deal about it?”
8. A Woman’s Advice – you need to talk about it, let’s all get a java and sit on the deck and hack out our feelings. “I have so, like, been there before, girl…”
9. The Guy-at-the-Beach Advice (to the lady beside him, all too loudly)- “I think you just need to get out of debt seriously just get working and take care if it INTERJECTION: kids get lost (his own kids), it costs a lot to get to the beach, if I wanted to spend all day talking to you, I would kept you at home now let me talk about adult stuff. RETURN: No seriously, just tuck a nip (WHAT?) and have some fun. Also, kids (tlaking to his kids who never got-lost), a speedo is the biggest faux-pas ever. Like, keep those (you-know-what) in long baggy trunks not for the world to see, I mean… it’s just disgusting. What’s yours is yours and mine is mine. No speedos…. ” This was his rant, all too loudly, for our entirety of our beach afternoon… it was so ridiculous, I can’t even begin to get into detail. But his advice was just a category on it’s own, and since my site is g-rated, I definitely cannot share.. I just thought when I saw him that he was a regular, run of the mill kind a man, who knew he was a regular Dr. Phil. No seriously.
10. The Best Advice – things you hope to hear and then VOILA! your friend tells you, without any form of convincing. “Who cares if he’s 30?”
That’s right. 30 is the new 22. That’d make me … 14? Nevermind. Thanks, Leanne.