that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

i’ll take Regional Government for 500, please


Top ten reasons that proves I don’t know anything.

1. A gentleman called the office today to ask me a very pointed question: “Hi Kate, can yard waste for the clear bags include grass clippings and raked leaves?” Me: “Why I am drawing a blank sir, let me transfer you to our public works department, I am sure they can help you sort it out.” Hello? Kate, those are the two main yard wasted things! Yea, ok.

2. When getting ultility billings ready to be mailed out, some of the invoices required manual folding. I stepped in to man that job…and once the envelopes were stuffed, about 10 of mine did not have the address on the front in the plastic envelope window. My coworker kindly informed me that it actually doesn’t take three years of university to know the folded side with the address on the invoice goes at the front. Duh.

3. “No Kate, you can’t take the Tacoma simply because the light is on top and it makes you look like a bylaw or police officer…and for your second question, because I know you’re going to ask it, you cannot turn it on or flicker it at Drew [mosquito sprayer] if you guys pass in town on the way to the sewer.”

4. Who knew that when my boss told me at 9:00 in the morning that my skirt was a little “tucked in” in the back, that if it were true at 9 am, it would still be true periodically throughout the day? Not wearing that again!

5. Unfortunately, Drew and the guys needed the committee meeting room for a pest control meeting — the pests didn’t need the room for a guys meeting. It’s not my fault I seem to have late maturing dyslexic tendencies.

6. I never realized that asking someone “so, like, what exactly do you do?” would be misinterpreted from an innocent query to mean “what are you saying? That I don’t do anything?” then proceed to tell everyone the summer student thinks the people in question don’t do anything all day. I am just trying to know. That’s all.

7. Apparently when you “dial 9 to get out” does not apply to dialing 9-1-1. I wish I could take blame for this but wow was that ever the perfect move.

8. “So when is the maintenance guy coming in again?” … “why Kate, did something happen that needs fixing?” … “Well, I knelt down in the storage unit to grab the files [interjection: the storage unit is absolutely disgusting] and now my skirt [white] is completely dirty!” … “OK so you want him to take it home and wash it? Because I think you’d have better luck asking him to sweep it up..” ………obviously!

9. Waters calls to engineering; inspections to building; maps to GIS; agendas to administration; billing to finance; records management to Kate. Took me about 4.75 hours to realize records management was just a fancy word for filing. OK, thanks for the title.

10. “Kate why do you read at work on your breaks?” … “Because I like to.” … “Oh I thought you were rubbing your pending degree in my face.” … “Yea that too.” Which I am not, but older people just don’t seem to get sarcasm. I am sorry! Probably shouldn’t have said that.

There really really are stupid questions. Unfortunately, in this game, most of them come from me. In other words, I love being back at work. I forgot a lot about basic public queries and where to send phone calls or the extensions of people’s direct lines. But I appreciate the job because while I look like a fool, potentially, to everyone else at the office, I learn and learn and learn sooo much. And have a pretty great time doing it. Some people get on my nerves as with every job but I am learning to be patient. I told my supervisor I depend on words of affirmation… I meant it as a joke partially and partially serious…because being government, I don’t want to mess up and have no one tell me otherwise. So she proceeded to affirm me every second I saw her for the past 48 hours. A little overkill which is now going to my head which resulted in a day of overly stupid things happening to me. Yay for jobs and people who seem to think I am a walking nutcase… little do they know!


3 thoughts on “i’ll take Regional Government for 500, please

  1. LOL! hilarious! You crack me up! hahahaha….

  2. mark and I died laughing…you are hilarious. Love ya!

  3. haha… i’m so glad that you’re enjoying your job. sounds like you’re having a blast doing it.

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