that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.

the taste of coolwhip

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Dad. In the 80s. Unreal.

Do you have things that remind you of something past?

Like how Pantene Pro-V’s smell brings me back to when I visited Ang in Kamloops four years ago. Or “Who Wouldn’t Wanna Be Me” by Keith Urban puts me in the back of Jeff’s Durango with Paul move out day, first year at Mount Royal. Ginger Ale for my mom and Coca Cola for my dad. The smell of the rain reminds me of when Joce, Sarah, and I went to Cody’s house pretending to be Charlie’s Angels, with Jody in toe as our Boswell… this was too many years back to count. Whenever I smell a new baby I think of Jayme; when spring comes in Calgary I ‘am’ playing catch with Ken in the field; when I have a Kokanee I ‘am’ back in that room, studying for a psychology final. Peroxide and hair dye makes me think about Norma.
Little Kate!
Sometimes, when the bed squeeks, I feel like I am with Jes in our massive double bunk bed, back before we knew 2+2=4. But that feeling is pretty faint. A hug that makes me feel particularly secure reminds me of when I needed my Dad. When I see someone in grey sweatpants I think of my grad year; if I am by a river, I am ‘really’ at Luke’s parents property in Moricetown; driving at night makes me think of home. The song “Getting Into You” by Relient K opens up the pain of last year while the song “I Got You” by Craig Morgan reminds me of possibility (Mark and Jes’ ‘walking back down the aisle’ song). Sunscreen reminds me of the creek whereas rollerblades give me imaginary pain, even though I do it all the time, for those wipeouts Nadina witnessed me make first year. Chinese food always puts me back to the table at Troy’s 16th birthday party where it was just me and 8 guys. We were best friends; apparently that meant I had to endure all boy birthday parties!

And the taste of coolwhip, well, that’s Jocelyn. Little Joce!–>

What do you come across that has memories tied to it that you can’t shake? Sometimes I wonder if the associations we have are just cruel punishment for trying to forget the things that hurt you the most. That you miss the most. That you wish for…the most.

This picture, well, just rocks. That’s Marli, Me, and Jes…. no shame on our parts but Jes clearly was over it.

One thought on “the taste of coolwhip

  1. kate!
    why no memories of me in there eh???

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