Yep. I am back. My holidays turned into being more enjoyable than I ever dreamed. One solid week of sleeping, eating, and visiting in Penticton then another two weeks up in Smithers, with the same itinerary as Penticton, minus the sleeping. I’ve never felt so at home in the place I consider home. Imagine that, 21 odd years later and I finally felt a washing of peace to be there, where I was truly myself and it was oh-so-wonderful. Once I get pictures, I will post a blog in full dedication to my gallavant up to snowy, beautiful, northern BC… or for a detailed recount of some of it, check out Meg and Steve’s.
However, tonight I come to you from the tiny crevace of my world to tell you that it is good to be back. For three years I have been here in Calgary, mostly wrestling with transit and maps and trying to understand the hustle and bustle of the busy city life. It has been all I can do to not convert to those ways of rushing folks who are speedily trying to reach nowhere in particular. Consider it a silent vow I made which in turn, has overloaded me with unexpected bitterness toward the kind who do. It’s not my fault, but I have come to terms with the phrase “city life is not for me” and applied it to Kate. Until tonight, which found me laying in bed, reading some English theory. I open my window and crank the heat (sorry, energy company) because I like the fresh air but also being warm. And seeping through the windows came the sounds of cars driving by, which caused me to imagine it being me, taking a roadtrip down the dark streets, or remembering those times it actually was me, out until all hours of the night. I heard sirens, and the wind; people on a balcony and barking dogs; a garage door opening and closing and a streetlamp cascading light through the blinds; the silent shudder of the promise of the cold winter air. And it dawned on me, as only these things do.
Inviting, coaxing, deliberately waiting. The city, in its confining, claustrophobic, and smog filled skies told me something that the open fields, sandy beaches, and pear trees never has: There’s a whole world out there. Imagine that?
Now… what noise am I going to make? Contribute? …Awaken?