that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.


christmas and new years … in smithers

Ok.. so I am not good at the picture aspect of blogging… so please have patience but I am thrilled to share with you this recap of my holidays… especially since 90% of you all are genetically tied to most of the people in them! xox

Uncle Orv in the barn… I spent an evening wor
king in here with him and Tim. I think I missed my calling.
Sue and Suzanne… New Years

Young Adult Cousin Progressive Dinner… Too Cool

My Volleyball team for the tourney..

Steve, Megan, Me

I was cold.. and Megan was bonding with me.. or something.

Jess Hardy and I out at Driftwood… New Years again.

Jod and I… so good to see it.

Me and Darce.. my favourite SpruceKing

Viv… Suzanne’s Mom!
My Dad and I.. these moments are too few and far between!


Angela and I… New Years, Driftwood

Alfred and I… Evelyn, New Years
Jocelyn (sorta) and Jordie… Evelyn again.

Jod and Jess… he was a hot commodity or something!

Mark Hagen: First Holenstein Christmas. Look at his wife, eh.

Sweet Jayme.. I hope she turns out like me!

Stefanie, Myself, and Auntie Carolene… our hideous volleyball huddle… we were always on the same teams… we always lost.

Stams and Hagens… couldn’t ask for a greater family..

Dan came out with Ang and I… here he is, Mr. Hero.

Here’s the “Craft Kids”… our Moms are all tight and check it out: we turned out tight too!! Except older…

Jody, Kate, Mitch, Jes, Mark, Marli… it had been too long since one of these pictures!

Ang and I… Nana invited us over for lunch with our moms. You can tell how much we LOVED it.

There! I think that’s it thus far!!


silent offender

“Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to go back. Maybe even just by a few minutes. Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives… for better, or worse.”

It’s a secret where this comes from…and what it’s directed towards. Kinda like information held tightly in the crevice of the soul.

But I do wonder about that old cliché about ‘the world would be a different place if you hadn’t been in it’. I’d really like to know how I am going to leave it.

I wonder why some things have been trusted in my hands. I wonder what more things will come to fill them up.

I wonder what happens when dreams don’t come true. I wonder what will happen when I take my driver’s test.

I wonder if I’d be my friend.

Hahaha. Maybe it’s in the water.


hi, philosophy

So in our philosophy of ethics class this morning, our professor poised this question:

Should people who have been incarcerated (serving time) in prison maintain their right to vote?

Megan, myself, two fine gentleman, and another lady all formed a group in order to justify our opinions on this matter. We were supposed to pretend to be ‘judges’ in a courtroom and by applying the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, we were to determine whether prisoners should be allowed to vote or not.

The cool part about debates such as these are that BOTH sides are totally justifiable… for example:

Against –> prisoners shouldn’t vote because they’ve violated human rights in committing these crimes (robbery, murder, money laundering, etc) therefore their own rights should be abolished.

For–> prisoners are still Canadian citizens, and their right to vote may not help themselves (life term sentences) but it may enhance the quality of life for their families… and possibly life in prison.

Against–> They’ve been removed from society for reasons, therefore not a part of society anymore.

For–> How can they feel a part of society upon re-entry if they are stripped of the aspects society allows.

Here’s some key points from the charter:

Rights and freedoms in Canada

1. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

and number 2:

Fundamental freedoms

2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
a) freedom of conscience and religion;
b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
d) freedom of association.

and lastly:

Democratic rights of citizens

3. Every citizen of Canada has the right to vote in an election of members of the House of Commons or of a legislative assembly and to be qualified for membership therein.

Your thoughts? Yes, please.


shapes and sizes

You know how they guardian angels come in all sorts of shapes and sizes? I never really believed that. I truly thought that my guardian angels would be covered in a white sheath with wings and Heaven’s light encompassing them all around. Boy was I wrong. I am sure someone’s angels are this way, but the one’s I’ve encountered lately sure aren’t… but they are definitely guardian angels.

Friday night I was driving to Edmonton to have dinner with a special friend of mine in Sherwood Park, AB. About 15 mins from the city, I blew out my back tire to a point where there was only an inch of rubber around the rim. Thankfully this was right by a service station (gas, car wash, convenience store, etc) and I asked the gas attendent if he could put my donut tire on. He was the partial angel. The other was a trucker, who was born in Camrose, who came to save the day. Not only did he aid in the changing of the tire… but he calmed me down, checked my oil, put air in the remaining tires, and followed me a ways until the Sherwood Park turnoff. Normally, someone would be creeped out by this but truthfully, he was harmless (I believe) and I was so terrified that once he calmed me down, I didn’t even call my parents right away. Which is a feat because my first call in crisis is always Dad. I guess when I think I am being all independent, God sends me little helpers along the way to keep me humble.

Another form of a guardian angel would be a pair of them… Jes and Mark. When I was getting ready to leave Camrose Sunday night, they noticed my lights doing weird things and it turned out my alternator was going. So rather than heading home, I ended up staying another night. Monday found me hanging out at CLBI doing homework in the kitchen while Jes worked and Mark changed the necessary parts in my car. Mark, the angel for doing that for me and Jes for letting me invade her workspace, and both ofthem combined for all the work they do at CLBI… again, I am overwhelmed for you guys at the goings on of your days. But oh-so-thankful for the kids who need you. Because I love who you are to me… and that when I need you, you are there for me too.

My radio breaking down is probably the last of the angelic experiences I had this weekend. All in all, it was a wonderful time spent with family… I keep thinking I need to take advantage of them in Camrose a lot more. Dan also came down from Edmonton for a Saturday afternoon of fun which made it extra special. On some level, I feel like I am “going home” every time I head to Jes and Mark’s. Maybe it’s because of the people that they share their lives with.. that I happen to really like… or that consistency of it. I don’t know. But with all the familial happenings, I Loved my drive home the most. It was me and the stars, where the radio wasn’t working and I just thought… and thought… and thought… and I realized something fairly extravagant.

Through all the turmoils, hurts and tears. Through all the laughter, bliss and fun. With friends coming… and mostly leaving… and for the amount I’ve grown in the last few years and continue to learn, the most important thing I know is that I am the luckiest girl alive. And with the topic of guardian angels, I know through God that luck has nothing to do with it.


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here goes

I got ‘tagged’ is it? I am supposed to write 5 random things about meand tag other people. And I have no one to tag… but here goes, 5 things you DON’T know about me:

1. I sleep on my stomach and at the edge of a pillow. In fact, I have 5 pillows on my bed but I only use the very tip of the corner of one. Maybe it’s because my bed sinks in the middle, but that’s how I sleep!

2. I don’t believe in goal setting. I know I know. I think it is important to dream and desire and have ambitions, but I do not think it necessity to set goals… because what happens when you reach one? That’s it. You got it. And how many do you set? Tons? If so, doesn’t that take the value out of the goal? What if you never reach your goal? Yeah. Ask me about this in a not so casual environment. 🙂

3. I fear frogs with a fright that rivals multiple frights combined. Show me a frog and I head for the hills. One day Cody Haggard saw one on the road while he was driving me home, stop the truck, ran out there, picked it up, and threw it on my lap in the vehicle before I even knew what was happening. My heart stopped.

4. I failed one of my Silver Ice Dance tests for figure skating when I was 14 because the evaluators were convinced that I was a beat behind my partner. Reality was that he was a hot fireman from who-knows-where and I was completely intimidated to have his arms around me.

5. I have my whole grade 12 english lesson planned out for the first time I teach… if that ever happens, I have it all worked out in my head and a book… is that wrong? haha.


Actually, I tag LOUISE BOLDT… the only other person I know has a blog.

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city sounds

Yep. I am back. My holidays turned into being more enjoyable than I ever dreamed. One solid week of sleeping, eating, and visiting in Penticton then another two weeks up in Smithers, with the same itinerary as Penticton, minus the sleeping. I’ve never felt so at home in the place I consider home. Imagine that, 21 odd years later and I finally felt a washing of peace to be there, where I was truly myself and it was oh-so-wonderful. Once I get pictures, I will post a blog in full dedication to my gallavant up to snowy, beautiful, northern BC… or for a detailed recount of some of it, check out Meg and Steve’s.

However, tonight I come to you from the tiny crevace of my world to tell you that it is good to be back. For three years I have been here in Calgary, mostly wrestling with transit and maps and trying to understand the hustle and bustle of the busy city life. It has been all I can do to not convert to those ways of rushing folks who are speedily trying to reach nowhere in particular. Consider it a silent vow I made which in turn, has overloaded me with unexpected bitterness toward the kind who do. It’s not my fault, but I have come to terms with the phrase “city life is not for me” and applied it to Kate. Until tonight, which found me laying in bed, reading some English theory. I open my window and crank the heat (sorry, energy company) because I like the fresh air but also being warm. And seeping through the windows came the sounds of cars driving by, which caused me to imagine it being me, taking a roadtrip down the dark streets, or remembering those times it actually was me, out until all hours of the night. I heard sirens, and the wind; people on a balcony and barking dogs; a garage door opening and closing and a streetlamp cascading light through the blinds; the silent shudder of the promise of the cold winter air. And it dawned on me, as only these things do.

Inviting, coaxing, deliberately waiting. The city, in its confining, claustrophobic, and smog filled skies told me something that the open fields, sandy beaches, and pear trees never has: There’s a whole world out there. Imagine that?

Now… what noise am I going to make? Contribute? …Awaken?

Calgary Winter