that perfect hand…

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big… and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time… it's perfect. It's mine.



John Steinbeck is my new best friend. Well, it’s been a long forged relationship, but last night, he raised the bar. In other words, I was feeling discouraged because I feel like this endless journey through school feels more like a trek to no where, rather than a means to dreams coming true. For as long as I could process 1+1, I have wanted to be a teacher. And not just any teacher, but one that people remember. I also want to write a book. And not just any book, but one that impacts someone’s life in an unalterable, positive way. The tunnel feels neverending, but then John told me this:
“The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.”
and then he decided I needed to know this as well,
“I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist and that there are as few as there are any other great artists. Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit.”
I guess every once in awhile, we need affirmation that what we are doing is right or worthwhile or valued. Sometimes, I wonder if I want to write or teach simply because someone told me I would be good at it… but then, I think about the lesson I have planned for my first grade 12 english class (whenever that will happen) or sitting down to a signing, for my own book, and I know that it’s not affirming I should do what I am good at, it’s confirming that I am meant for a purpose that I might not even be aware of. And I need to keep trying to fulfill it.

So I guess I will go to class. Or something.

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this just in

I turned on the TV last night to the words “Great Save by Michael Wall” (or something to that effect) and turns out, yesterday, Sunday, November 26th was a friend of mine’s first game in the NHL! And… they won! I can’t do it justice because I missed some of it, but read about it here:
and here
and guess what? here too

Second best part: he beat CALGARY! I only wish it had been at home so I could’ve watched it up close, but a win on home ice? πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Awesome Michael, nothing quite compares. It couldn’t happen to a better, or more deserving, guy. Yea!

r. 12:2-8

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I know… date sequence isn’t exactly obvious here as I went to Victoria long before I knew I was going to Smithers… but I guess that’s half the fun.

Nov 9-14 I jumped on a WestJet plane and flew down to Vancouver Island for U of C’s reading days. It’s the perfect place to go… as not only does Jocelyn live there, but Nadina, Suzanne, Jess, Rachel, and Hilary do too! Sue and Brad also took the ferry across and what was supposed to

be just a weekend to visit and do homework (yea?), turned into one grand reunion. It was in a word: unreal. This picture was Nadina, Suz, Joce, and I out for a romantic dinner on my last night in town at the restaurant, Glo, that Joce works at. The other was at Legends, adding Jes and Sue to the mix. The rest of the weekend was hanging out, seeing family, and getting Bobbi to do my hair. Oh and finally meeting the girls’ coveted BL boys! πŸ™‚ These pictures don’t do justice for what a fantastic weekend it was! Makes the thought of going home just THAT much sweeter.

Other highlight: My pops drove in from Powell River on Sunday to hang out with me for the day. That just made it boderline perfect!

Except when Jes lost her toenail, I think we could all do with out that… especially Suzanne.

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home … and stuff

Apparently we are heading up north BC for Christmas. I don’t have much more to say on the subject other than that… it is exactly one month today until the festivities begin. There is not much more special than the thought of the whole family back in Smithers for the annual Christmas Eve evening with my mom’s family. Or snow, something lacking in the Okanagan Christmasses. I am crossing my fingers inside that my uncle can create the snow maze in his farm fields and Lake Kathlyn’s water is frozen in to a beautiful skating rink. Maybe there will be brunch with the crafts group or salmon pattΓ© at Hawse’s. I know Hardy’s will still have a place to lounge (and pie) and the ski hill just might see me on it. And if it’s really cold, I will catch a flick at the Roi and a drink at the Alpenhorn, before bundling up to sled all the way down L’Orsa’s driveway. Hay ride singing Christmas carols? And are we old enough yet for Adult Games Night?

I guess I had a bit to say… but mostly, I can’t wait for a Christmas, finally, at home.


dave matthews

β€œWhat I want is what I’ve not got, and what I need is all around me.” ~Dave Matthews

Someone extremely special to me introduced me to Dave Matthews a few years ago. At first, I thought he was way too mellow, borderline emo laced with an underlying whine. But I find, after two years, one month, and fifteen days (give or take, did you know it as been that long?), I’ve found something unreal. Listening to new music or locating a good band was such a headache for me: how do you know that when you pick up a new cd or download an unknown song, that it is going to be any good? Try it. When I didn’t like the first four songs, what made me hold out for the fifth? Perseverence. What about Dave Matthews made me keep listening to him to find a love for him? Trust. What if I had deleted him from my ipod and never burnt any of his cd’s? I never would’ve thought about it again. How did the song “Number 41” or “Crash” or especially “Christmas Song” play its way into my collection of favourites?

It’s qute simple really: I stuck it out. And so did you. And I am going to keep doing so. Because what does the quote say that we love? “Dont ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” This, and you know what I mean by this, has made me come alive. So if I have to wish it was right beside me or a building over. If it means trying to act like it is. If a lot of time passes before the next time. If I am here. And you are there. Atleast we have Dave Matthews.

“Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters.”~Dave Matthews

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

~Marianne Williamson